Please note: THIS WILL SELF DESTRUCT AFTER READING.
This is a Top Secret Document. Classified information represented by hyphens. (---)
“HQ, I’m getting too old.” the 96 year old spy named Edgar said in his Australian accent as he patted his wispy hair, remembering his old brown shine, wishing it was back for his next assignment.
“Nonsense, EOX, you look dashing. Now, Leader will be in soon to assign your new mission so be prepared.” HQ said. HQ was a hologram, programmed by Leader to teach each student all the way through their academy and to guide them along their espionage career. Edgars HQ was a middle aged man with slick black hair parted neatly in the middle and a thin moustache over his always brimming smile. At this, HQs face became a screen, and Leader appeared, in his glory. He was even older than Edgar, living off of a machine normally reserved for people like Elvis Presley, who left his old life by faking death. Leader offered a smile on his ancient face. ”EOX, trust us, you’ll like your next mission.”
Edgar moved through the trees silently, eyes scanning for any enemies, when he spotted the large white cliff with the receding cave noted in the briefing. It was all too easy to get lost in the dark forest at the edge of the country, but thankfully, EOX was skilled at navigating. Edgar was assigned to infiltrate an enemy base found there recently, find some papers proving guilt of high society members, such as Peteir De Simones, in the cover-up of the Ashy Coffee Shop incident in the year 19--, which Edgar had also been assigned to.
Naturally, when the Agency discovered the new base, they sent their best man out. And EOX was just the man for the job. Edgar approached the cliff face, and then hugged up against it as a flashlight beam swept by him. Two “hikers” were looking off of the cliff, leaning on two long walking sticks. The beam stopped for a moment, and Edgar held his breath. He heard whispers, then the beam passed, and he slipped into the cave. There were two doors, each made of a metal and had caution colors in a band around the top and bottom. The first door wouldn’t accept the forged ID card, but the second seemed to be an older scanner that would accept it. There he swiped the forged identification card in the card holder. After a beep, he slipped through the door before closing it behind him. The base appeared to still be under construction, as walls were still composed of the white cliff rock, with sections of wiring and pipes visible. He moved quickly along the long, rocky corridors, passing doors till he found one labeled “Top Secret Files”. When the door wouldn’t accept his Identification card, he cursed silently, and then stopped. Footsteps were approaching from down the hall.
Edgar activated the light bending field around him, and then awaited the man to enter the corridor. It was a ------ agent, dressed in the uniform. He drew closer, and then stopped as he took notice of the card confiscation light on the door. Edgar took that time to strike. Slipping behind the man, he pinched the pressure point just below the neck. The man slid to the floor, unconscious. Edgar quickly found his ID card, and tried it in the door. The light on top quickly turned from red to green, and the door clicked open. Edgar dragged the man into the room with him. He searched the files for any possible links, and then found one titled “Ashy Coffee Shop, 19--”. His heart racing, Edgar pocketed the folder and turned through the door, taking the confiscated fake ID card with him, when the alarm sounded.
Edgar hurried down the hall, out the door, and into the face of Peteir De Simones, leader of the ----- Agency.
“Well. Agent EOX, better known Edgar Oldsworth, aged 96 years, taken into the Australian Agency at age 16. I daresay you’re doing well?” Simones practically spat due to the smug grin on his face and the Colt pistol in his hand. If he had any chance, Edgar thought, it was now.
“Well, Peteir, I didn’t expect you to live until you were thirty, much less your current forty. May I have a last word?” Edgar said, faking defeat. Simones smile faded slightly, making his face look less like a peach due to his fuzzy brown hair and large size, and more like a plum, due to his anger since this was how Edgar escaped him the previous time. His voice shaking, he raised the gun higher. He stared deep into Edgars’ eyes, and slowly said his next sentence with hate.
“Do you think for one moment, EOX, that I will fall for that pathetic trick again?”
”You just did, Peteir old boy.” At this, a click was heard, and Simones cursed. The remote mines Edgar had placed all over the facility exploded with finality, and a look of hate was seen on Peteirs’ face as burning rock flew down among them. Edgar leaped over the pile of rocks and ran towards the dark woods at the edge of the base. He dropped a Blue Screamer light and climbed a tree, puling out his trusty reconnaissance tranquilizer dart gun and taking down any agents that followed him from the now collapsing base.
The two experimental helicopters that had been awaiting the Blue Screamer light pulled down to the ground. One left with a load of ----- agents Edgar had tranquilized, and the other left with all the important papers EOX had found as well as the rest of the Top Secret Files. Edgar stayed behind, not because he wanted to, but because he had to. Out of the 30 agents running the base, only one escaped. PDS. Edgar had to bring the mastermind behind the Ashy Coffee Shop cover-up to justice. As he entered the base behind the cliff face, he noticed that the first door, the one he couldn’t enter, was open. He entered it, then found out quickly why it was off limits. There was a large sign that said “EXPERIMENTAL WEAPONS”. He just had time to duck as a blast of blue Screamer electricity sped by his head. He looked down to see PDS attached to some machine. He was smiling maniacally.
“Think you’ll survive this time, Edgar?” he laughed maniacally.
Edgar smiled again.
“Time will tell, old boy.” EOX said with a flourish as he drew the projectile gun that made him famous among the A.A. He rolled as a surge of electricity shot by him and hit the wall behind him. He raised the dart gun, but he didn’t have a chance to fire it, as he saw the fact that Simones failed to see. A blue glow was coming from the tube attaching the machine to PDS. Edgar gulped. He slowly activated his magnetic transparent shield.
“No…” Edgar said as PDS raised the blaster again. ”NO, PETEIR!” He screamed as that awful smile spread across Simones’ face.
”What? Angry that I finally have you beat? Well, too bad.” Peteir said simply as he pulled the trigger. The resulting explosion of electricity downed power within tone hundred miles, caused an electric storm in Alaska, and opened all security gates at the Ashy Mental Asylum. When Edgar looked down to see what had happened to PDS, he was shocked… no pun intended. He had been shocked so severely that had merged with the experimental weapon attached to him. Edgar split the merge as he moved down to the lower level. PDS was completely insane. He was sent to Ashy Asylum, known often as the “cuckoo hut”, where he gained a cell next to ---------, one of the victims of the original Ashy incident. Edgar used the pay from his mission to buy a resort house near Ashy Asylum, so he could visit PDS every day and apologize to Peteir for causing this. Peteir didn’t understand, though. He thought he was a teapot. Leader eventually decided to have the machine transferred to the lead singer of a popular band, ------------, and died living in the resort house next to Edgars. HQ accompanied Edgar as his best friend for the rest of his days and was assigned to a promising new agent, DJR, who enrolled at age 18. That pretty much sums everything up.
MESSAGE WILL SELF Destruct IN 5…
- Title: Agent EOX
- Artist: Yvansi
- Description: The 96-year old secret agent Edgar Oldsworth, codename EOX, has been assigned to track down the criminals behind the Ashy Coffe House Bombings in Australia. Follow the tracks of his last mission!
- Date: 12/03/2008
- Tags: secret agent edgar australian elderly