• In this place, there is no wind. There is no sun. Traffic is always at halt, the smog is thick, and I never seen a real plant grow in the soil here. The water's too calm and it always feels like winter... None of this ever changes. Nothing ever has.

    Welcome to the Doldrums


    ....
    This bridge is a nice little spot. "..." I looked over the rail. The water below was so far down. I leaned farther. I couldn't see my reflection at all, the water has sat so long with all the dirt and debree. Glancing, I checked the road for cars-there was no one. "Like anyone would care to see the last of my moments?" I reached in my back pocket for a cigarette. So I could have my final smoke, I whiped my black bangs from the right side of my face and flipped open my lighter.
    The rail was cold and rusty, taking a step I found myself standing on the edge. One more step... Go ahead, who's going to notice you're gone? Just another push. Only a little lean is all you need... I spread my arms, looking at my fate and began to lean forward.

    ..."Wh-What?" I-I'm not falling! Realising my eyes were shut tight, I opened my eyes and realised I was still on the edge... BUT AT A 45 DEGREE ANGLE! A huge gust was holding me up and I cursed, trying to move my weight down, but more and more force was blown against me and I tumbled backward back onto the street. Screaming at the good god himself, horribly mad at what just happened. I was too scared to try again and my hands shook terribly. The cigarette burnt my lip and I spat it out.
    "W-Why...?" Wind, I had never felt it before and it soothed the back of my neck. I had used a house fan, but natural wind felt so different. Standing up, I almost fell over when a small paper had flown into my face making me temporairly blinded. "UGH, What in the WORLD is going on!?!" It was an advertisement for a job...

    COME JOIN SCIU!
    -
    No degree or paper needed! Accepting anyone at anytime!
    Solve scientific crimes and put bad men where they belong! In JAIL!
    Call us now to make an appointment! Or visit our office today at...

    Below was the address and number with an addorable picture of some girl wearing a news reporter hat. "What does SCIU mean?" Cute isn't my style...

    ....

    "C-Crap, my key! Where did I put it? Come on, I really need back in!" Great, I have lost my key into my apartment. The door had a missing number, the knob was jammed, and the door always got stuck.
    The key was inside my shoe and I quickly slipped it out. "Jesus, you little bugger!" The room was a mess. One living room and a bathroom was all I had. I could only fit the mini fridge-packed with old chinese food, my sofa/fold out bed, one radio, and the heater.
    My stomach began to quake from the nautious smells and I opened the bathroom door. The corner was moldy, the toilet was on the edge of it's last days, and of course I always had some meds packed into the bathroom cabinet. I opened the shower curtan and froze.

    ... A noose. From two nights ago. I remembered how horribly depressed I was that night... Rubbing the rope burn on my neck, I glanced at the multiple and neatly sliced scars on my arms. I turned away and almost choked on the empty sorrow in my throat. "... I need a new place."
    I pushed down the sadness and looked in the mirror. The black under my blue eyes were getting worse. Stupid smoking-I know it's killing me, I'm not an idiot. But that's what I want. I want the pain to go away... It hurts, no matter what I try, who I talk to. That's right, who do I have to talk to? No one, just me and my cigarettes... My parents haven't given one call. Not on my 22nd birthday from last year. Not even a card. I bet they'd be delighted to find out I died somehow. Some horrible way...
    In a shower...
    ...With a noose around my neck--

    "N-NO!" My knees shook and I whipped away the tears that were begining to form. Not now... I can't handle it now. Give it a week or so and the noose will start to look real good again. I popped about three pills and slapped my face, trying to gain control of myself.
    The answering machine had 1 new call on it. I pressed PLAY and I heard that horrible voice that I dreaded each two months. I groaned as it began, "Walter Stampell you son of a-" You're right. I grinned, she defenitly is! "-Get down here and pay your rent! This is the second strike and I will kick you out when it get's to three! Don't think I won't call the police!" I pressed DELETE.

    "... I need a job." I took the last cigarette pack on the dresser and frowned. "All gone? Shoot, I though I bought more!" Oh yeah... I threw down the crushed packet of cigarettes and sighed. Now I'm all out of money.

    A folded slip of paper fell onto the floor by the cigarette case. I picked it up and unfolded it. It was the stupid job offer--"Job offer?!" Is this my big break? ...Well, it wouldn't hurt to try I guess. Better go off while I still feel like getting up in the morning.