Diary of a fallen apple ((1))

• Artist: Luca Cantellano
• Description: People always say how royalty was beautiful and pampering. If only royalty was so kind to the young dark elf prince, Luca Cantellano. It is in this diary that we are finally told the tradgic tale of his pain, love, joy, sorrow, and loss. The tale of an exiled prince; a fallen apple.
• Date: 07/20/2009
• Tags: diary fallen apple prologue luca

Prologue

Frozen water assulted me as the rough hands through me into the cold current. I opened my mouth to scream, only to have the water rush down my abused throat and into my lungs, filling them. It was an unbearable fire that tortured and burned my lungs as I was pulled into the freezing black depths of water by the iron chain around my bloody ankle. It was as if the currents and waves were fighting over my abused, fragile body, jerking me back and forth as I plunged deeper and deeper. Everything was black, the water around me carrying no light at all. The only way I knew which way was up was how I was being pulled down into oblivion. Was this the end? Could I find a way to live through this? Finally, as I struggled to breath air instead of water, I lost consciousness.

Comments

[Situtra]

so ur a writer as well, good job you should write more, mabe another story, that would be a treat! biggrin

[Akorn23]

did you post the story yet or parts of it I want to read them?
good job

[Glenlyon]

I agree with Rebel. My only suggestion is to find a different word for "abused" when you use it the second time around. That seemed to trip me up a bit when I was reading it. Its just one of my pet peeves. The repetition of "black" is ok because it becomes almost chant-like.

Overall, this is good. I definitely like the descriptions you give. They are easy to relate to, even if one has not personally experienced drowning.

[rebellimepunkchick]

good descriptions. really pulls the reader in