• “Beauty is a notion in our heads”
    “why?”
    “because people need to feel beautiful, to feel complete”
    “what is beauty?”
    “some people think it’s the way you look, trim bodies, smooth tan, make up, hair coloring, its pretty much an opinion of appearance. But what beauty really is, is your persona, you very soul. The way you think and speak, the way you act, and how you use your mannerisms. That is what beauty really is, not on the outside, but on the inside, just people are too blind to see that.”
    “are the people blind like me?”
    “no, they are blind with different eyes, inner eyes.”
    “can I see with my inner eyes?”
    “it’s the only way you should see, you see beauty in personas, not in looks.”
    “Am I beautiful? Do people see me inside or out?”
    “they see that you are blind, they pass by, looking at your brown ringlets and long eye lashes, they don’t know what to say to you, because they are afraid, so they don’t see the inner you.”
    “Am I beautiful?”
    “if I say you’re the most beautiful person in the world I have ever laid eyes on, would you leave me? Try to find someone you suit with better?”
    “No one is better then you are to me. We fit together nicely”
    “then your beautiful, inside and out, your remarkable.”
    “Are you beautiful on the outside? I don’t care just curious as to how you look, you never told me.”

    The man that was nearly bald and skeletal like from chemotherapy bent his head down so the blind girl was looking right at him, her face was so hopeful, she was the only one who could ever love him the way he needed to be loved, he knew she was so lovely and needed the truth, she needed to know that he would only be with her another week or two, she needed to know of the cancer that was slowly eating him away for the past six months they were together.

    “ no Lisa, I am not beautiful like you are, now hush and sit with me, let me tell you the truth as to why I am not beautiful like you are.”

    So on and on he told her, of how six months ago exactly four days before he met her, he went in for a chest x-ray, only because he had a slight cough. The x-ray came back with spotting in his lungs, he explained that he never touched a cigarette, but the spots were there. He was terminal. But when he met her he saw that she was striking, the most amazing girl. He explained why he lied and said he had a bad case of the flu and was in the hospital. He was so frightened she wouldn’t want anything to do with him.

    “Lisa, you’re the only thing that’s kept me going this long, Dr. Sheffield gave me two months, but four days later I found you, getting your eyes checked, I just couldn’t believe how blessed I was to have longer then two months, and then four months, and finally six months to this day, Lisa thank you for everything, please don’t hate me for this, but I hurt so badly on the inside, my skin is thin and my hair is gone, my eyes are gaunt, and every time I eat I throw it back up, Lisa…. Any day now, I might fall asleep, and dream forever. Please don’t hate me”
    “I don’t hate you.”
    “will you be with me? I cant go alone, please stay here with me till its time… I am so afraid of death, I don’t want to die Lisa, please I am so scared, what’s going to happen to me?”
    “I don’t know, please don’t talk like that… I can feel your hot tears on my cheek…. I promise I wont leave you! I don’t regret being with you these past six months I don’t want anything but to relive our time over and over again. I don’t want you to go, your all I have. Please fight for just a little bit longer… for me, please don’t leave, ill miss your voice, and holding your hand, and kissing you goodnight.”
    “Lisa, your so beautiful. I hope there is a heaven I can look down from to see you, for I’ll miss your shinning face. I cant fight anymore, it hurts, the pain keeps me awake all night… I don’t want to go.”
    “then don’t”
    “I am so afraid, what if there is nothing after this? I never got to live my life or go to college, or have a dog and a yard with kids, I never got to travel, and what if it hurts? What if I never see you again?”
    “you will I promise”

    They sit and hold each other. Lisa falls fast asleep in his arms. He know his time is short now, his weeks are up, and he aches inside for release. Softly he lays her body on the pillow next to him, and pulls out his voice recorder journal , he also pulls out the silver box from downstairs in the gift shop. He begins his final words to her, knowing he doesn’t have very long to speak.

    “Lisa, I have fallen in love with you, if I could I would marry you right now, but the best I can do, is give you this. it’s a special white gold ring that I asked the girl in the jewelry shop down stairs to have made just for you, it looks just like my mothers ring, she always wore it until she passed. Now you wear the exact duplicate of it, please always wear it for me, wear it till you can join me in heaven. I know its hard, but I am not afraid anymore, I am happy the pain will be gone, but sad that I am leaving without fully being able to love you the way you have loved me. don’t ever change Lisa, remember I love you always and forever, and remember beauty is a notion in our heads.”

    He clicked of the recorder, placed it in Lisa’s purse on the end table, and the silver box was placed ever so quietly on top of it. He rolled back onto the bed with great effort, he looked at her brown ringlets, curled one strand between his thumb and index finger, kissed her cheek, then finally closed his eyes for the last time, falling into the dream of dreams.