• Chapter 3: What could this be Goddess?


    “What?” I asked, my eyes troubled as they peered into those emeralds, sparkling once more. His mouth came close to my ear, sending a shiver down my spine with his light breath, his scent wavering over me, over powering my senses and sending chills down my form.
    I could finally see he really was a wolf with his mischievous eyes, his strong arms that are able to hold me so effortlessly with a warmth that spread through me like a fire’s undying heat and his legs were powerful in running, the one thing a wolf enjoys more then singing their devotion to the moon. His hair was ragged like the fur of a wolf’s but held a softness that astounded me and his voice held the dominance of a male over his pack. It made me weak just looking at him, at the perfection of wolf like charm that held me still.
    “You’re in heat, I can smell it radiate from you like food to, well, the wolves and I can feel your tense muscles from fighting the urge to possibly curl into me and take me right here and now. I can relieve you of it Love, help you feel better,” he told me gently almost as if he really cared and wanted me to be satisfied. He ran his arms down my arms, making me gasp, my eyes closing as I did so, trembling and striving even as I fought it. I bit my tongue hard to keep myself from moaning.
    “What if that’s the scent of the demon I was hunting earlier? I hadn’t taken a bath in the creek yet,” I knew he didn’t quite know about demons and would probably come up with questions and snide remarks to my comment.
    He stopped and stared at me, swallowing hard as he went completely still. I instantly questioned my earlier thoughts, wondering what he really knew about demons. Although it didn’t seem like he really wanted to talk about it.
    “N,no, it’s defiantly you, got a vanilla scent that’s unique to only you,” he answered quickly at long last.
    “So what? Why should I choose you as my mate?” I asked, knowing he couldn’t come with anything worth my time and I could just tell him off like it’s nothing and go on with my life.
    “Because I’m the only wolf within hundreds of miles, because I can tell you don’t really hate me by the way you look at me with those eyes. Perhaps just once you can finally love. You fear me, why? What have men done to you to make you hate them so?”
    I looked at him long and hard, debating whether I should actually tell him everything. I was the only one to know how since all the others had been erased of my very memory, never to be known of again. I turned my head away. No, I couldn’t tell him, not ever, it would only bring everything back and possibly destroy me. But it was too late, the memory of rough, hurtful hands covering my mouth as I tried to howl out.
    My memory turned to the cold iron cage he had enclosed me into for each sinful night the full moon rose. He took great fun in teasing me through the bars like I was some savage, wild animal he needed to tame.
    I can still feel the excruciating jabs of the dull spear like stick he carried or the leather encased whip he wielded so well. The deep scars still remain across my back, reminders that I dare not look at so that maybe, just maybe, I CAN forget them. It was the one and only hope I held onto. To forget. No one had believed me when I spoke out and he was free to ravage me so hurtfully and mercilessly once more, then again and again until one night I killed him with my trembling bare hands.
    Each time I looked at them, I saw the red slip through my long fingers, his slowly dying heart grasped tightly until no longer did it beat with his essence. I had dropped it and ran that night, leaving his soulless naked body to the shadows. I still see the blood; I still see his face contorted into laughter that had been cut short like his life.
    I cried out and struggled, suddenly feeling the restraint on my arms, my world plunged back into the past with chains and whips. I was back in that shadowed room filled with my own screams and his low sadistic toned laughter. I struggled against the restraints, I wanted to escape and run like I had done once before. I could hear my begs for release, for the pain to stop, the goddesses to save me for the torture to stop.
    Then I felt warm, gentle arms embrace me, pulling me into larger warmth that some how calmed me down. I cried, sobs escaping me for the first time in so long, my hands grasping onto the fabric that my tears stained while my form shook with each silent cry. The scent wavered over me and even though I had lost my senses as to who it was, I still clung. He used the pads of his thumbs to wipe away a stray tear.
    “You don’t have to tell me now, perhaps when you’re ready,” a gentle voice whispered, one broad hand rubbing softly across my back while the other combed gently through my hair. For the first time in my entire life, I felt safe and never wanted to let go. Even though my sense had returned and I knew it was Layton.
    I felt Layton pick me up, carrying me away. My grip tightened on his shirt and I wasn’t sure if it was in fear or something else. I just knew I didn’t want to let go, ever. Maybe that did scare me. He brought me to the truck where he climbed in carefully, setting me close to his side so that I was still clung to him, one of his hands around my quaking shoulder but still able to drive.
    “It’ll be okay, “ he kept whispering lightly to me. His grip was strong, but in a gentle way. I felt like a pup but at the moment, it was okay since I never had a chance to be a pup in the first place.
    “Mira, where’s your home?” he asked softly. I looked up to peer over the dashboard seeing where we were at the exact moment.
    “There,” I replied. It was a small hunting shack that I had found, abandoned long ago. The roof had fallen in slightly on a corner, the door stuck in the forest debris and the walls filled with holes and slits. I fixed it up with what I could find so that at least I could live there, a shelter for the weather. My clothes were washed in the creek, which stayed clear year round even if the ice crested over top, and my food came from animals who roamed close by. The only thing I needed were the large things; clothes, school supplies and hygiene items, that is, before I decided to leave school and wouldn’t need them anymore really. A kindly old woman who took pity on me when she caught me close to her property years ago left these to me. She’d also leave a little money if it were ever needed. In return, I protected her life from what lurked close by, such as the demons.
    “This is all?” Layton asked. I could hear the concern, heavy in his light voice. I nodded and turned to get out from his truck.
    “Wait,” he said softly, a hand on my tense shoulder. I looked swiftly into his emerald orbs as if to ask what? He looked at the shack, then at me as he licked his lips, thinking.
    “What is it?” I asked tiredly. I was growing a bit impatient and cranky since I hadn’t eaten anything all day and a rogue demon had paid a visit last night.
    “Why not come live with me?” he asked, his voice hopeful.
    “What?” I asked, taken back by his sudden proposal.
    “Well, I live in a house where you don’t have to hunt for your food or wash your clothes in the creek we passed back there. Why not come with me?”
    “You mean live like a tame dog and leave my true nature behind? No, I refuse,” I growled, getting out angrily as I slammed the door.
    “No, that’s not what I meant!” he called after me, scrambling to open his door that seemed to be stuck. When he finally did, he gave chase after me again. I turned on him quickly, furiated with him entirely.
    “So what did you mean then?” I snapped.
    “W,well I just meant you could live with me but still do the things you’ve always done if you want. I can just provide things that you may want,” he replied carefully, checking his words so that he didn’t make the same mistake twice. I looked him up and down with narrowed eyes, measuring his sincerity. Then the image of my fingers clinging to the soft fabric, his large arms wrapped around me to keep me safe came to my mind and I had to look away, my pride injured.
    “Do you live with your parents?” I asked softly.
    “No, alone. They died when I was four,” was his reply.
    “Very well. I’ll go.”

    * * * * * *

    I felt a bit relieved and over joyed that she had decided to accept my offer and also a bit confused at her sudden surrender. I thought she would have fought more. I smiled and walked up to her, taking her slim, beautiful face into my large hands. Her cheeks were still flushed from the tears and her crystal blues shined like a star. Her own, smaller but calloused, hands came to my wrists as she stared back, not fighting it or daring to move from my grasp.
    “You have beautiful eyes,” I whispered to her gently. She sighed lightly and looked down at my chest.
    “So I’ve heard,” she stated quietly before slipping her head from my grasp and making her way to the rundown shack. I followed her in, curious as to how it may look, how she truly lived for such a long period of time.
    It was fairly dark on the inside. If I was human, I would have just barely been able to make out the small, destroyed nest like mattresses in the corner, torn from her claws probably due to the painful change, or the small, gimping wooden desk that probably served more then just one purpose. I looked around for more, only finding a half broken vanity mirror and a small dresser. Clothes had been neatly piled onto a mat next to the dresser along with a few plastic bags and two hanging white rabbits, freshly killed, most likely this morning.
    “How could you live like this for so long?” I asked, looking at her seriously. She stopped and ran a hand over the rough, stained wood, like a distant memory was coming to her. Silence met the both of us.
    “I’ve only done what our ancestors before us have done for years. I’ve hidden amongst the humans, lived as they have with a few exceptions and I have survived,” she finally said softly.
    “But you haven’t done everything,” I said in a quiet tone, walking up behind her slowly so that I wouldn’t startle her before I wrapped my arms around her waist, placing my broad hands on her stomach as I took in her vanilla scent again.
    “What would that be?” she asked softly, barely moving from my longing touch.
    “You haven’t found a mate,” I whispered, digging my nose into the crook of her neck. She moved her head to the side slightly, not towards me, but rather, away from me, giving me more room to take her, kiss her neck gently up to her ear where I bit gently on the lob, sending a shiver down her body. It had been unexpected. My hand began to move down but felt her tense and I took my hand away quickly. I kissed her neck once more and stepped away unwillingly.
    “Sorry, go ahead and pack, I’ll wait for you outside,” I told her, walking out the door. I went to the truck, noticing a fire pit in front of the shack and tracks to the car. I wondered what had happened to it as I climbed into the driver’s seat, sitting back in my chair to wait for her. She probably sold it since there was no use for it really.
    She came out five minutes later with a small but stuffed pack and threw it in the back before she climbed into the cab of my Chevy. I smiled at her, hopefully warmly because I couldn’t tell.
    “This doesn’t mean I’ll be your mate,” she stated softly, never once looking at me. I sighed, then gave a slight nod. But deep in my mind I knew she’d allow it, I could hear it in her voice and the hum of her body as it yearned touching and love.
    “Will you be going back to school?” I asked. She shook her head and I had to sigh again.
    “Why not?”
    “I don’t need it. They teach nothing of importance for what I do in my life,” she replied simply.
    “You really are old school.”
    “That may be so, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m not going,” she shrugged indifferently. I chuckled as we pulled into the driveway of my home.
    It was a long driveway that wound through the thick forest, leading to a large yard trickled with rock gardens and a wooden porch swing. The house was two floors, one floor hidden by the hill, a red oak porch all along the outside until it came to the garage where it stopped. The glass window reflected the truck into a million glimmering images. The outside walls were logs, cut and stained by my own hand only a few years ago. I had built my home from the one floor home my parents loved although it was a bit hard with the large hill that lead to marshland and more forest.
    I opened the automatic garage door, then pulled inside to keep the truck safe from any weather. She got out and went through the side door into the house as if she knew where to go. The laundry room was first, cluttered with my clothing and coats. Then she came to the small kitchen. The floors were wood to match the counter tops, dining room table, cabinets and trimmings for the room. The dining room, living room were all faced towards the also wooden fire place, insolated with steel plates so that it wouldn’t burn the house down.
    Next to her was a hallway and a flight of crème colored carpet stairs that led to the basement where there were three bedrooms that I used for storage, a bathroom and another living area. Down the hall was the front door, my room with carpets, the computer, a bathroom and a view of the back and then another small bathroom to the right of my door.
    “You can sleep downstairs where you’ll be left alone and with your own bathroom,” I told her, offering to take her bag. She reshouldered it and walked downstairs without a word. I followed her down; giving her the larger of the two rooms that happened to be the least cluttered and still held a bed.
    She put her stuff on the cluttered bed as I moved boxes out of the way and helped her settle in. She crawled into the bed, curling up against the bare pillow and quickly fell into a deep sleep. She had had a pretty rough day. She needed her sleep.

    That night I went to sleep, well went into my unnaturally cold bed. It felt as if it were only seconds when I heard knocking on my door, awaking me from a slumber I didn’t remember falling into. I opened my eyes, grumbling, then looked at the doorway. My eyes went wide at the sight.
    “M, Mira, um, ho-how can I help you?” I heard myself ask automatically, trying so hard to not squeak or show the want that was clouding my mind.
    “I thought about it for a while and, you’re right. I do need a mate. I mean, perhaps just once I’ll actually come to love someone,” she replied gently. My jaw nearly dropped at her words. She stood there; rubbing the back of her neck while her other arm was held across her chest to grasp her bicep.
    “If you want to, we can,” I replied without thought.

    (You’ll have to read the book to get this part. Inappropriate ^ ^”””” )

    “Did that feel good baby?” I asked her softly after we both settled back on Earth, running my hand through her soft hair, letting it pool in the palm of my hand once I’ve reached the end of the strands.
    “Yes, very much so,” she replied in a whisper with a smile. I returned the smile and leaned down to kiss her.

    A loud crash sounded from outside and I jumped from my bed, tangled in a web of soft, warm blankets that seemed to have become a little moist from the sweat, and perhaps something else that had really collected on my body. I groggily made my way to the large picture window that allowed the small moon light pool into my large but sorely empty room. I opened the window after unlocking it and looked out over the shadow painted land. A stray dog with mangled dirty fur and a slight limp had gotten into my garbage and I grumbled. A mess to clean up later on in the morning. Another blissful dream with her spoiled.
    It felt so real that I had made me actually believe that she really had come to my room so that we could mate and join forever. Her skin sliding across mine like living silk, her voice whispering so seductively that it made goose bumps appear across my arms. But alas, it was not so. I looked down and sighed. Looks like it’s time for a bathroom break.

    * * * * * *

    I awoke from a nightmare of my past and went straight to the large, cushion seated window, my feet slightly pressed on the opposite wall, knees drawn to my chest and my head resting against the amazingly clean glass. It was cool to the touch, making goose bumps pop on my arms, but it felt good to my sweat soaked skin.
    Morning was slowly coming and I knew that soon Layton would have to go to school and I could look around the house and know my new surroundings and perhaps go outside to let the itch to run become satisfied. He was right, I am in heat and it took so much of me to not leap at him and let him take me right there in those leaves.
    But my mind kept going back to the player he was known to be, the way he treated women like they were a lunch buffet and that it would also mean spending my life with him forever more. I wasn’t quite sure I could take that.
    I needed to find a suitable mate, that much was assured, but not him, not now, not ever. I sighed and walked upstairs to grab something to satisfy my hunger since I hadn’t eaten in days. My steps were ever so light and barely heard by even me.
    I hadn’t gone demon hunting in a while, perhaps that would help me with my pent up stress. I didn’t know if there were many over here in this area of the woods so close to the werewolf’s territory, but it was surely worth a try to look around.
    All I would’ve had to do was grab a nice sized knife, go out into the woods, and follow my sense of smell until I found the disgusting pull of that hunt, the one the demons enjoyed so much. They would tear their victims to pieces, enjoying the fear, reveling in it until the victim died and it could finish the feed.
    I came up the stairs and stopped to find Layton placing a plate down on the stained wooden table. I tried to turn and run back down the stairs but frustratingly I didn’t get too far.
    “Oh, Mira. Come join me, you must be hungry,” he said lightly, walking up slowly behind me. I grumbled under my breath and turned to face him, catching a glimpse of those emerald orbs before I looked away quickly.
    “No, I’m actually not hungry,” I replied as convincing as I possibly could. Too bad at that time my stomach growled. I cursed my body. He smirked knowingly and moved his hand to my chin, lifting my face so that my eyes stared into his.
    “Now I know that’s a lie my love,” he stated softly. His eyes seemed to lull me ever so slightly like a beating song that only my heart could hear. I moved my face from his hand, looking to the side before it became too strong for me.
    “No, really, I’m not. I just haven’t been feeling well, that’s all,” I told him plainly. He stepped a bit closer and I held my breath. I could feel his own breath a spice of mint, move my hair slightly and his eyes bare into my being like he was trying desperately to see through me.
    “You do seem pale. Are you not feeling well because you need to mate?” he asked me softly. My heart leaped and I stepped back quickly. I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea, but I knew he could plainly smell it on me. I hadn’t taken a shower this morning.
    “No, just my stomach isn’t agreeing,” I replied quickly.
    “Oh? So you won’t care if I did this?” He leaned in, running his rough, broad hands along my side and pulling me close into him, his breath tickling my neck. A ripple ran cursingly through my body and I tried to keep my body from pooling in his arms. I gasped angrily and pushed him away, creating a smile on his lips.
    “Stop it,” I growled through a slight pant.


    (Read the book to find out what happens here)

    I curled into his chest and closed my eyes. Never had I been touched in such a way, strongly but with such love that it left me wanting more. Never had I needed a man as I did this one and suddenly I knew it.

    “Mira, wake up, it’s time for breakfast,” a voice called through the door way as the sound of knocking awoke me. I gasped as I sat up quickly. I slapped myself awake and shook my head.
    “It was just a dream, nothing more. No, it wasn’t a dream, it was a nightmare,” I told myself, still not believing that I dreamed Layton Case giving me the greatest desire that I had never had. I shook my head and got out of bed, going to the door. I opened it with a forced slam and looked him in the eyes.
    “What?” I asked in an aggravated growl. He looked at me, then reddened deeply and looked away, putting his hand over his mouth in an embarrassed motion. I narrowed my eyes dangerously, then looked down, then quickly up at him, closing the door with a slam. I slept in my underclothing.
    I walked out of the room and up the stairs where he was quickly putting breakfast on the table. I stopped and blushed, remembering those broad hands wrapping around my waist and those innocently soft words. I shook my head and walked to the opposite side of the table, sitting down and began to eat right away. He looked over, then quickly away as if he was embarrassed about something else.
    I looked up at his face and it was bright red. I wondered what he was so noticeably embarrassed about but I didn’t want to ask since I had another menacing vision of that mouth. This was going to drive me insane! It was only Thursday, which meant there was today and tomorrow left to be by myself and that was exactly what I needed to stay hopefully sane. Or as sane as I possibly could. I sighed and continued to eat more. This was going to be a pretty rough week, I could just see it.
    After he left for school, I walked around the house, looking at everything there was and what ways I could get out if I needed to go for a stroll or a run to calm the wolf side of me as it raged from the heat that tried to control me.
    My best bet was probably the glass doors that led straight to the marsh down the hill. I could live with that. I wanted to leave straight away but it was daytime, thus the chances of my form roaming could be seen. I took a shower instead, then wondered what to do next. An idea came to me, exploration of new horizons but I shook the thought from my head quickly.
    Sleep was another idea but chilling goose bumps slid up my body as the memory of that dream came to me. Thoughts plagued me of what I should do, how I was going to live in the same house with the man who wielded that mouth, that touch, those heart fluttering words. I decided sleep was out of the question and went upstairs to curl upon the very couch of my dream and watch the fire Layton had built.

    * * * * * *

    Today was defiantly not my day. I kept thinking of that heated body pressed against mine, her lips playful and teasing me to the breaking point. I had a distinct feeling I failed my biology test thanks to her echoing in my head, her kisses and loving caresses.
    Even the image of her as she stood in the door way this morning created issues in my mind, even if she did seem peeved. It made my fantasies seem far more real.
    I desperately wanted her, needed her and I knew I just had to convince her to become mine. It would be a harsh battle but I’m a warrior who always fights to win. I grew overly excited to go home, to see her beautiful golden face, those shining blue eyes staring into mine and those lips move even if it is a foul word said in my general or direct direction. I didn’t care.
    Finally the school day ended and I was able to quickly drive home, impatient with stoplights and the slow drivers in my way. I even caught myself speeding, but didn’t really care even though I was usually a careful driver who followed the law.
    The whole time I practiced what I would say to her when I got home, what I would say to explain myself or maybe get her to finally trust me and come to love me. It all sounded as lame as I was acting, a practiced speech that would send even my fans into a crazy dash away from me.
    I reached home and walked inside to find her sleeping form lying on the couch, a soft, gentle snore floating across the stillness of the room. A smile spread along my mouth as I quietly walked up to her. She had fallen into a gentle slumber, the fire I had started now burned down to ashes.
    She was so out of it that she never even twitched when I placed a gentle hand on her head, petting her soft hair and kissed her partially open lips. Her taste was still the sweet vanilla I remembered, creating heat within every piece of my being.
    Her scent wavered over me, mixing with my own scent, creating a sweet yet spicy concoction that I knew I would continue to cherish. It seemed right, the recipe a sweet tang of something. I didn’t quite know what yet, but I figured that I would, especially as I watched her sleep there on my couch.
    Even as she slept she was breathtaking. Damp, curled hair pooled over the pillows of the couch to cushion her head, streaks of browns, reds and blonds appearing in the shining sunlight that peaked through evergreen branches.
    It created a lighter glow of her golden skin, sun kissed almost literally. Her chest rose and fell slowly with each God blessed breath her form took in. Her lips slightly open, pink folds that led to bliss I so desired. She was far more beautiful then my imagination could ever conjure up.
    My heart skipped a beat when she groaned lightly and rolled over onto her side, the line of her back peaking through her tank, her thighs pressed together at a slight angle and her hands tucked under her head. Her neck was exposed to me completely and I remembered the softness that greeted my touch when I had tried to take her as my own in the school halls.
    The school halls. A shutter ran down my body as I remembered that day. It was the day I tried to force her to be my mate and the day she left for such a long time, throwing me into near insanity with her disappearance physically and mentally. If I hadn’t’ve found her yesterday, I would’ve never known who she was again and that much I knew.
    It pained me that I could’ve possibly never seen this raging beauty ever again. I would have missed out on so much, including a moment like this as she sleeps so peacefully yet her beauty still tortures me.
    I had seen nothing of our future in the school halls, seen her only as some vixen I wanted to know much better. Then after that day, my mind kept returning to her as if she was supposed to be in my mind, as if there was some kind of connection there.
    Could there have been? That’s the question I had first asked myself when I searched for her and wrote about her in my journals. Now I knew the answer to that, knew the answer when she found her way back into my life.
    I ran a gentle hand through her hair once more before I decided to work on the assignments I had been given. I worked on them for at least an hour or two with torturous images flashing in my mind’s eye before I was finally able to finish.
    It had been about 6 o’clock by the time I finished and I knew she hadn’t eaten since breakfast so I began to cook, the sweet scent of steak and fries wavering across the room as it sizzled in the pan and fryer.
    I heard a gentle grumble and smiled to myself. She was awaking slowly but surly and I loved the sound of her body as it moved across the fabric, her skin just as soft as the cushions. It sent vibrations of pride up my spine and a shudder of lust through my soul. A chuckle escaped me when I heard a gasp and the thud of her feet on the floor.
    I looked at her, a plate, topped with food, in my hand as I smiled at her. There was still sleep in her droopy gray eyes and her hair was placed in wild directions. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her in fear that the image would be gone from me forever and I would suffer insanity once again.
    “Dinner is ready if you would like some love. I know you haven’t eaten since breakfast.” She seemed to take my offer into account as she eyed the plate hungrily, then looked back into my eyes. I could see the indecision and decided to bring the plate to her or at least half way since I knew how skittish she was.
    She stepped back quickly and cautiously in attempt to keep me away. I had to keep my composure as her scent wavered over me if I wished to keep her close to me, to smell the sweet vanilla and feel the softness of her goddess skin.
    “What is it?” she asked carefully, studying me rather then the food. I had to chuckle at the caution she chose to endure over her hunger but then again it was both of our natures, the wolves set deep within our souls to keep both of us safe and sound until our time came, then it would pass to the pups that was given in blessing to us.
    “Steak and fries,” I replied as I set the plate down carefully on the table in front of the couch she had just been sleeping on. As soon as I stepped away far enough that she felt safe, she dived in, moving to eat the fries, then take a delighted taste of the steak. She closed her eyes at the taste and smiled wolfishly.
    “Mm, so you cook, that’s a plus for you,” she said through a mouthful of cooked meat. I chuckled as she ate ravenously the food that I had placed down for her. Now I went to my own food so that I could eat what I had made. She was right, it was good, tasted a bit more sweet and juicy then normal, the taste was blasting in my mouth as if I was tasting the steak for the first time, the blood running across my tongue as water savored the goodness even more.
    I looked at her and knew why the taste was so much better. It was she. The food tasted better, the dreams so much sweeter and the atmosphere was so much lighter. I knew it had to be her who was making it so and I knew I had to do my best to keep her here so that I could forever be with her and feel this.
    She had finished her food in record time and sat back in the couch before she gave a deep sigh and got up quickly, moving swiftly to the stairs and down them before I could say a word. My eyebrow raised and I set my plate down to follow her. I knew she was heading to her room so I moved slowly down the stairs. I didn’t want to startle her, didn’t want to make her run.
    She had closed the door and I could hear that she had found the radio I kept on the desk just in case. I knocked on the door loudly so that she could hear me over the music even though it probably wasn’t necessary with her hearing at the level it is.
    “What is it?” she asked roughly. I could tell she was angry for some reason and a sigh escaped me as I thought about it.
    “Can I talk to you?” I asked lightly.