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the police officer walked me out. the hot sun splashed against my pale body, and the warm summer wind cooled my cheeks. i twisted my head and looked at the insane asylum i just walked out of.
"take her" i remembered my mom begging "please help her. i went from having tee partys to having imaginary freinds to talking to herself, listening to different voices in her head, to seeing things....."
the police officer next to me interrupted my thoughts "your good to go". he smiled,patted my back and walked inside. the small wind came again. i looked around at all the fresh green leaves blowing, and gently coming to a stop.
a small strand of hair flew in front of my face. i jumped i jumped at the color. it was... white. when i went in my hair was the pitchest black i had ever seen. was i in there for that long? i looked at my skin. it was almost florescent.
my parents put me in here in the first place. i dont know what i did. i just don't remember. a van pulled up, and the passenger seats door opened. my mom got out, and walked to me. she hugged me, but she left a wide space between us.
"i missed you" she cried.
"hmf" i snorted, remembering that she gave me to them in the first place.
she stopped hugging me and took a huge step back. "your hair is white" she stated the obviouse and ran her fingers threw my hair.
"yea becouse i was iscolated in a white room in a white jacket"
she tilted her head "are you back to normal?"
i looked at her. i could not tell if i was glaring or squinting at her, but but that is not something you ask your doughter after doing what she did to me. i felt lonely and abandoned.
"oh emily, im so glad to have you back" she said "now get in the van" she pointed at our vehicle like i was dumb.
i opened the automatic door and sat in one of the middle seats. my brother ,timmy, looke at me with scared and hurt eyes. a flash back came. i saw my self in a gothic looking dress pinning down timmy and holding a knife to his neck, and him screaming and crying with my mother on the floor with a gushing rip in her arm and my dad yelling "Emm get off your brother! please! look what you did!"
i breathed in. that was raina not me.
"oh so you remember your brother" my mom said, yet again, like i was stupid. i saw my moms arm, and where i cut her was a scar. it was at least 5 inches long.
"oh" she breathed "you did this" she pointed at it.
"i know" i said then looked out the window.
"jeff" my mom said to my dad "she remembers"
"yes charla, she is not stupid"my dad said
"thanks dad" i said then looked at timmy. he was still staring at me like i was gonna kill him. i had a ting of sorrow in my heart. honestly i never cared of any one but briann, raina, angela, lora, carmon, and abegail.
people tell me they arent real but they are real, and they are my only friends, they always has been
- by arise-alive-live |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 06/05/2010 |
- Skip
![](https://graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/arena-images/ic_paper_corner_32x32.gif)
- Title: psyco girl loose
- Artist: arise-alive-live
- Description: its the first small part so yah imma writer (at least i want to be)
- Date: 06/05/2010
- Tags: psyco girl loose
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Comments (3 Comments)
- Stephanie8087 - 02/02/2011
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Surprisingly, capitalization makes a HUGE difference.
Punctuation wise, you are oh so perfect. Besides adding 'apostrophes' you're good to go.
And spelling, work on that.
And onto the REAL part, your story itself.
OHMYGAWD! You are one of THE best people to describe stuff I've ever met. The first sentence just screamed 'READ ME! I'M AWESOME!' But I'm too lazy to acknowledge it's scream and read through it, so, I really shouldn't be writing this comment. 4/5 - Report As Spam
- arise-alive-live - 06/09/2010
- lol thanks for that i will keep it in mind but also wrote it when i was 3rd hahahahahahaha but thanks any ways smile
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- galaxygodling - 06/09/2010
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You've got some good ideas here, but it's a bit rough. Try being less state-the-obvious about some of the things Emily is observing. For example: her mother's scar. Don't state that it's there after having told us that Emily cut her there, but maybe try saying she looked at the scar on her mother's arm. Little changes to things like that throughout would make this stand out.
Also, do some research. If Emily's got a multiple personality disorder, you need to look it up. Same for the sanitorium. - Report As Spam