• Rain.
    Rain.
    Rain.
    Wet.
    Water.
    Dripping.
    The smell of fresh rain was thick in the air.
    It drenched the ground, the leaves, trees and dirt.
    Rain.
    A single rain drop fell.
    “Do you not understand?!”
    Another rain drop, the thundering sound echoing through my mind as I stared at the water stained ground. My words, anger filled question drowned under the soft rain. My hands turned into fists at my side, a fine tremble setting my body. Was the trembling, the small vibration through my being from the cold or from my anger? I couldn’t decipher it. My teeth clenched together as I shut my eyes tight. Everything seemed so much easier, seemed to be said so much smoother when I didn’t have to make eye contact, didn’t have to see him staring at me. To see his dark brown hair turned black by the water.
    The second time I asked my voice was more shaky. The emotion was thick. “Do you not understand?” the question was less fierce, more sad. Was this my voice? Was this really me?
    “I…” his voice sounded so lost, so confused, so worried. I opened my eyes and looked up to the young man who was not five feet away from me. The street light reflected from the water dripping along his hand as he dropped it from the air. His face was lost in shadows, dark hair gleaming. I watched that hand fall away as if he reached for me than stopped, unsure if it was the right thing to do.
    A strangled laugh escaped my lips as I, for once, openly met his face with pure and raw emotion, feeling. My heart felt like someone was splitting it was a rusty nail. Each heartbeat felt like a hammer striking. “I..” I chocked on my words but I tried again. “I love you.” The words were a bare whisper over the rain and, as I stared at this man, face hidden by shadows, I realized something. He knew me not.
    The tears were hot, burning as they rolled from my closed eyes, mixing with the cold rain. Silence filled the area. Even the rain seemed to hold its breath as if to help with this moment of clarity. I turned my face upward, letting the cold water to wash away my tears, not wanting to hear nor see him standing there. Standing there silent, unmoving, unsure.
    As the rain met my warm skin, the soft tremble that once worked over my body turned into silent shakes, silent sobs. I was angry and sad. Not at him, no. At myself. I had given my heart, my body to a man who treated it as if he were use to being shown such ways. I was just another girl.
    My hands came up to my face, covered it and I screamed. A low, frustrated sound filled with anger and emotion that I had no words for. A scream wasn’t enough but it was the only thing I could think of to do in my blurred mind.
    Then it hit me.
    I stood still, shocked, frozen in the pouring rain. Strong arms wrapped around my shaking body and held me tight. A hand slid up one of my wrists and slowly pulled one hand away from my face. As my one hand slid, the other did as well. When my hands fell away leaving my face to the rain, arms now trapped between our bodies, he pushed his lips against mine. My eyes went wide.
    His eyes were closed, dark lashes holding droplets of water. My body was stiff against his as he kissed me, my eyes wide. I started to turn my face away when his hand cupped my face, kept me in place. The kiss grew softer and I gave him his victory.
    I relaxed slowly, eyelids dropping in defeat as feeling was poured into the embrace of our lips and bodies. The rain was forgotten as it hit us, our minds only focusing on the other person.
    I put into the kiss what I thought and felt, my heart, my love, my need. The response I received was knee weakening.
    His arm tightened around my waist pressing our wet clothing tighter against our bodies. His hand was gentle yet forceful as it directed my head and the kiss into something more passionate.
    When we finally broke for air, I opened my eyes in surprise to find him staring at me. His once light eyes were dark and raw, almost sad. As if reading my thoughts, he slid a finger of my lips and shook his head.
    My arms were still trapped against his strong chest and my body was locked by his arm. The anger and frustration started to fill my eyes. Noticing, he let out a cold laugh.
    “Do you not trust me?” his question threw me.
    The feeling of being close to him, the ecstasy of the kiss, of feeling like someone to him slowly slipped away. Why would he ask that?
    His voice came softer, “Do you trust me?” How could his face look so sincere, so….
    My hands grabbed his jacket and shirt, tightening into fists.
    “Please…” was all I got out. Then, the tears were back.
    He pushed my head against his chest, hand at the back of my hair. His heartbeat was fast against my ear, breathing slightly quicker. I closed my eyes, willing the tears to stop. He spoke.
    With my head against his chest, his voice was deeper, smoother, harder to ignore. “I do understand. Don’t think I don’t.” He sighed , arm and hand tightening. “Trust me, love.” His voice dropped to a whisper, “Trust me. You’re too hard on yourself.” A chuckle vibrated down my spine, “And you think way too much. And hey,” he tilted my head up so I would meet his eyes, “Even though I don’t say it a lot, I do in fact love you. I just have different ways of showing it, telling you. Okay?”
    I did the only thing I could, I nodded not trusting my voice. He must of realized it for he accepted the nod and his face softened. His lips met my forehead, kissing my damp skin lightly. A comforting kiss, touch. Did he really understand?
    “Now, come on. We’re going to catch a cold,” he spoke softly as he stepped away, hand grabbing mine. He was never much of a hand holder, only when I said something about it. I smiled at our hands as he started to walk forward. I followed, fear and worry sinking back down into the depth of my mind.
    A simple gesture, a mere grasp of two hands and I felt reassured, felt better. “Love.” I whispered and a smile painted my lips. I quickened my pace so we walked side by side, our fingers entwined between us.
    He knows me not. He knows me. He knows me not. He knows me…
    He knows me.