• September 4th, 2013

    Dear Invisible Friend,

    It feels a little weird writing this because I know you don’t really exist. But maybe if I could just pretend that, for once, there’s someone out there that actually listens, I’ll feel a little better about myself. My name is Jimmy and I’m 16 years old. It was the first day of junior year today. Even though I didn’t care much for my appearance, I decided to try and look a little nice. So I threw on some baggy, black jeans, and bound them with my favorite belt that I got from Comic Con. It was black with big red letters that spelled out “Coitis”. I then threw on a tank top which i sloppily tucked into my pants, and over it, I put on a black, long-sleeved shirt that had “I Like Trains” printed in big white letters. I put out the cigarette I’d been smoking, put on my shoes(which were obviously black), and I left the house. It was only six in the morning. I came to school early because there was nothing to do at home and I couldn’t sleep the entire night. So I sat there in front and waited for the doors to open. I’m afraid of others so I don’t necessarily like to be around people too much. It was nice be in solitude. It always is…
    “Yo! Jimmy!”
    I recognize that overly joyous voice anywhere. I looked up and saw Drew standing right there in front of me. I guess i was so occupied with thoughts about how crappy this year is gonna be that I didn’t really notice that more students were walking up to the school. I looked around to see everyone else wearing all of these new outfits that they probably spent hours just to choose. But to me, they just looked like the same styles and outfits as last year. The only difference were the colors and designs. But it was mostly just skinny jeans, snapbacks, and giant earrings that looked like they would pull people’s ears off from the size.
    “Dude are you okay?”
    Turning my attention back to Drew I smiled the best fake smile I could. I figured it’d be best not to give him a reason to worry. “Yeah. Just deep in thought.”
    “About?” He had a puzzled look on his face.
    “Eh, just what the year might be like.” That was a lie. The reality was, I was daydreaming again. Or...day-nightmaring. Whatever it’s not important! I’m always thinking about it when I’m alone. Repeatedly getting punched and kicked. All while people stand there and watch. Stop! That hurts! Why are you doing this? Help!
    “Bro! You okay?,” Drew asked with a concerned tone.
    “Yeah. I’m fine.” Again, another lie.
    “Don’t think about it so much Jim. You’re gonna go insane.”
    “I think it’s too late for that!” I said that with a real smile this time. Sometimes the thought of being insane amuses me. Weird huh? Well we all have labels we put on ourselves. And with all of the mixed up emotions I have, I think I deserve it.
    I looked at Drew and examined his outfit. Leather jacket and skinny jeans that he decided to sag a little too close to his knees. Sometimes I wondered if he just did that because everyone else did. He doesn’t look to comfortable. He smelled of cheap cologne. My guess was he was probably smoking before he came here. Drew is a mix of late 90s and early 2000s.
    “BABY!!!” After that shout I was bound by arms and squished to the point of popping. I looked down to see whose hands were constricting me. I smiled when I saw a familiar bracelet with tiny spikes on them.
    “Hi Ruby,” I said, slightly blushing.
    “You know I really hate it when you leave me behind in the mornings.” She pouted when she said this. I took the chance to steal a small kiss on her soft lips. Then wiped my lips when I realized she was wearing lip stick.
    “I know boo. But I just wanted to be alone.”
    “Next time tell me...how’s your arm?” She looked at it with so much worry, it almost broke my heart.
    I looked at my right arm and closed my eyes. “It’s feeling better.” I examined my girlfriend for a minute. Old black Ugg boots that she took great care of so they still looked new. Black leggings and red short shorts. I looked up to see she was wearing one of my black shirts with a picture of Cloud Strife on it. Then I looked at her face. She had blue eyes today. In reality they’re a beautiful light brown. I think she wears contacts to change the colors of her eyes just because lots of other people do it. Her skin was a smooth light brown. I brushed my hand on her cheek and felt the smoothness of her skin on my fingertips.
    “Lets go inside lovebirds. It’s almost time for class!” Drew skipped ahead to the door. He claims to be straight, but to quote every other douchebag in the school, “He’s the biggest f** ever.” But it’s the way he acts that draws me to him. Unafraid of being himself. I envy that.
    I rolled down my sleeves. Last thing I wanted was those assholes at school seeing it. You’d think everyone would love me considering I’m a white guy and my mother is rich as hell. But they don’t. Who’d be friends with someone who cries all the time and can’t even stand up for himself? I can’t even fight. How could I even be considered a man? It just angers me so much that I’m so powerless.
    Sorry, I almost lost it for a second. But back to my morning. Drew, Ruby, and I went inside the tall, stone and brick building together and made our way up the stairs to the fifth floor and down the halls to our Crew. Luckily we were in the same Crew this year so it wouldn’t feel too lonely. The door was open and the teacher stood tall and scrawny, greeting students and introducing himself to students as they walked in. I didn’t hear his name as my mind was elsewhere as I shook his hand. We all sat and chilled in a corner in the back of the room until the bell rang. The day has officially started. And my arm still hurt.

    Love always,
    Jimmy