• All my life I've been picked on, forgotten, and ignored. It all started in Kindergarten. I lived in London at the time, and I had just gotten ready to walk into the door. I got a feeling that made me feel stiff and worried. I walked through the door to, who I thought was giant, the teacher. She was smiling and told me hi. I just looked around the room and tried to ignore her. They all thought it was just a phase kids went through and said, "Aw, he's just shy. We adopted him about 5 months ago." A girl came over to me and softly grabbed my hand, then she took me over to her desk. She taught me how to draw, and then we had to read. During reading, I saw my sister's face peek through the door, and I wanted to go home with her. After school that day, my parents asked how it was. I faintly remember saying "I want to go back, but nobody likes me." I had been to a therapist before, when I was 4, and I never wanted to go back. After the 5th week of school, they had started getting letters saying that I had not been talking. I explained to them how I felt when I was at school, and they decided to take me back to a therapist. I had now been in my second family for almost 2 years. We just found out that there's a name for what I have, selective mutism. Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder that makes the body shut down in social situation making it mentally, emotionally, and physically unable to speak. They had talked about putting me on medication. My mom said "We're not putting him on medication. That is the last resort someone wants for a 6 year old." Everyone thought that I was either mentally retarded or autistic. The only thing separating me from being autistic was the hand shaking. I had been rocking back and forth from time to time and also mumbling words. I also had and still have trouble making eye contact. They took me to speech therapy for autistic kids and I had been making them worried. I couldn't do any of the things right, and I couldn't pay attention. They thought I was confused, when really all I thought was that I was taking a test for retarded people. I never wanted anyone to think that there was really something mentally wrong with me, but who was I to stop that? I couldn't say "Hey, I'm not stupid." I could only prove it by passing kindergarten-4th grade with straight A's. I had been diagnosed as autistic for 3 and a half years until a doctor finally recognized my signs:shyness, fear of social embarrassment, social isolation and withdrawal, clinging, compulsive traits, negativism, temper tantrums, and controlling or oppositional behavior. He had classified me as the mere 1% that had this condition. They did all they could do for me..until I had been back at the same damned orphanage. I had now been taken to a foster home. They treated me as if I needed help, such as help walking, speaking, and thinking. This is my 5th time being adopted, and we still have little hope that I will ever be cured of this "disease." I am just like every typically "normal" teenage boy: taking an interest in girls, have the potential to be something big in life, and wanting to be loved. I can only sit around and think to myself, "Will this ever be done with? Will I ever make it through college without still having to write on a piece of paper? Will I ever be able to make one simple sound come out and make myself known?" But still, all I do, is make people question my potential.