when it happens

• Artist: angel_lida18
• Description: this poem i wrote when i was in a depressed state as well i have been in a huge conflict with one of my friends.... please rate and comment, no rude or negative comments please and thank you ^_^
• Date: 07/15/2008
• Tags: dark pain stress blood rain

A dreadful day
Full of blood
Everyone is just to gay
I feel like putting them in the mud

The blood falls down
Just like the rain
I can't help but frown
When i see a passing train

This pain that comes and goes
I must be in a daze
So much that i froze
I feel like I'm in a maze

Trying to find my way
Through this crazy mess
Everything goes dull and gray
I start to stress

I need some change
How can i escape?
I feel like a bird in a cage
I need to escape with a black cape

The rain that falls
The sound it makes
Its a sound like if he calls
My soul is what he takes

This day in hell
Is pure black
As they all fell
I walked back

Comments

[ShadowRider332]

It really grabs the reader and holds them in. Great job!

[Cleveland Ninga]

That poem was pretty good it goes deep inside and tells the reader the pain you were going through so good job. :3 smile smile

[Count Nyhmd Franz]

.^-^. looks like you have finally moved on from that slump you had since you have written this wonderful poem. anyhow if i would be critical in commenting and analyzing it, it would not be fair. at least ill tell my fave parts. my favorite part would be the 6th stanza and my least favorite part was the first stanza... by the way i hope now youre not depressed anymore. .^-^.

[Forever_babi42511111]

wow! what a wonderful poem. its very deep. Excellent JOB! ^.^ 1-10 i give you 75

[jackarooh]

hey GREAT poem sweet so if i miss your birthday ill be really sorry but its because im barley loging on

[Grusius]

good 5/5

[rocklikebrucelee2]

Wow. That's pretty good! But I must say, I could make no sense of what you were trying to convey... but I'm sure that if I understood it, I'd think it be even better!