Hiding in the dark

• Artist: gaarasfan
• Description:
• Date: 07/16/2008
• Tags: dark

Check your closets and under your beds,

THe demonic clown is out for revenge,

Shes coming to get you but don't be afraid,

Your afterlife is about to be made,

From out of the darkness she creeps,

Your playing a game your life for keeps,

Just lay down to sleep,

As she makes her final leap,

Your soul will be falling,

The darkness calling,

Welcome to the afterlife,

Where all there is is strife

Comments

[xCoco_Caramel]

wow.
um... creeper much?
i'm rather afriad of clowns, so 4/5

[demon strait outta_hell]

I must admit, it rather scares me. And brings the thought of the demon clown 'IT' to my mind. I enjoyed it thoroughly. 5/5. Feel free to read my poem, wars not glory.

[Crystalinemoon]

I like your poem ^^ thank-you for commenting on mine. My teacher taught diamante's to us differently than you must've learned them because I got an A+ on that poem when I turned it in. The site I used for it as reference only has those 7 lines though. In addition to all the annoying reference sheets. You are correct though but the sheet I had said that the line you were talking about is optional.

[cute emo panda girl119]

i like it a little scary specially since i dont like clowns lol 5 stars

[Ryan Russell]

lol. I love the beginning. I tensed up a little to be honest, but then you rhymed a bit too much at the end. I would separate the "your playing a game" and "your life is for keeps"
I would also substitute these words in (parentheses) "just lay down to (rest),"
"As she makes her jest"
If you make those modifications, I would give it a 5 because you did a great job. ( :
4/5 submit again when you've fixed it. (;
(feel free to PM with anything that you think I might be able to help with!)

[Cutie43267]

nice n scary lol!!!!!!!