how i love

• Artist: XxXibladeXxX
• Description: just something my cousin told me to put up we both worked on it i kno it shud be a grl submitting this but my cousin is a grl and she put this one up
• Date: 11/02/2008
• Tags: started

remember that day?
i was walking all alone
you came up beside me
asked if i wanted company the way home

i felt inside
i wasn't alone
i took a look
as your eyes shone

i said sure
but i think im okay
i stared into your eyes
waiting to hear wat you'll say

but you just said are you sure?
i said not really pure...
i knew once and for all
that there was no cure

i giggled inside
smelled some cake?
i checked my watch said 6:39
my eyes opened mom called are u awake?
biggrin

Comments

[tksunshine93]

I like it. It's very cute and the story is very good. And sure it rhymes a lot but it's still good in that stereotypical poem way. (Yes, that really was a compliment :3 ) Good job!!

[_delted_--mfrag]

ya, its grate, but realy, make some sence, simmiles , you need to work on them

[QueenxofxSekyd]

You could improve it by using more descriptive language, but I like the concept. Keep in mind that you don't really have to rhyme wink