if i was the sun

• Artist: cutie3595
• Description: about the bight sun
• Date: 11/15/2008
• Tags:

if i was the sun,
i would sine over the rain
and sparkle til dawn.

if i was the sun

if i was the sun,
i would light up the world like a massive gloomy light
and i would be the best light ever.

if i was the sun

if i was the sun
i would shine and shine til dawn,
and never let it be dark at night.

if i was the sun

if i was the sun
i would sizzle like a sasuge
and fizzle like a volcano.

if i was the sun

Comments

[animewolf16]

I love the first and third stanzas! but it 'fizzles' out in places, the second and fourth stanzas, like they were kind of thrown in there. its good but consider a little revision smile