• You know those times in the course of your life when you’re…kinda lost?
    You’re not quite sure what comes next, what’s supposed to happen. Well, you have no idea, actually. Those brief or long periods of time when you’re undecided about everything; you felt so sure, were running six hundred miles per hour and…come to a sudden halt. It’s never truly clear why it happens. It can be a movie, a song. Maybe what triggered it was actually you, getting fired. Sometimes it’s just remembering something irrelevant from the past; something from your childhood. A smell, a certain color you’d never seen anywhere else till you walked by a shabby costume rental shop, with a battered and crazy old hat inside that caught your eye. And you just stop, and think…what the hell am I doing? Hadn’t I told myself, so many years ago, that I wouldn’t, let’s say, (random example) let myself get carried away from the good livin’, due to work, so as to stop paying attention to little unchanging things like the wonders of that park you always went to, that at night looked light a haunted forest in winter, and a magic forest on a summer night. Stupid things. But it’s like you suddenly remember that you’re betraying yourself, that you’re forgetting something extremely important, but already forgot what it was. So…then what? Who’s gonna tell me what to do next?
    And then you sigh, and you start poking at your knee, or grab your head, or fumble your face in helplessness. But after a while you just decide that just sittin’ there, doin’ nothin’ won’t help your memory. So you get up, look around, and suddenly remember that you had been about to cook yourself something to eat, or do that friggin’ essay for college, just before your abrupt moment of existential doubt. And eventually, maybe even unconciously, you begin to change the things that weren’t making you happy. And, before you know it, you start feeling in tune with the universe. You start smiling more, you jump outta your bed even on rainy days, determined to not let the day fade without having done something useful, for yourself or somebody else. You’re happy.
    Until of course you start messin’ up again and the cycle restarts.
    But I guess that’s the fun of life, –not in a sickly way, wait to finish the phrase- because it’d be so boring, dull, even deppressing, if all our lives were perfect, organized and fullfilling. Cause’ they wouldn’t be. That’s why we’re human. We’re messed up creatures, that’s why we are so diffirent from other animals. Some of us are original, authentic, trying to not be like our parents, or trying to be exactly like them, but eventually being better, richer or just messing it all up and seeking truth in a Taiwanese monastery. Some of us are boring, and inspire others to be exactly the opposite. Some of us are curious, want to know how everything works, or why it’s that way and not this. And some of us aren’t curious. Just stomp through life, careless about the he or she next to you. Some people only seek fortune so that they can eventually gain more and more, and be satisfied. But the truth is they never are truly satisfied, and only end up lonely, or dead. Sometimes people like that destroy people’s lives, or non-renewable resources just because their parents were drunkies, or their fathers were never at home, or didn’t love them.

    Gettin’ to the point –cause I really started babbling back there- we are all diffirent, and messed up, and that’s the only thing that keeps us going for more. We want to be better, smarter, bigger, tougher. That’s the essence of our being. We’re never satisfied. We always want to know more, and do better, and since we got to the moon; why not making it to Saturn?
    That’s what diffirentiates us from other beings. Feelings, silly thoughts. Awkward situations. Stupid jokes. Laughter. Tears. That’s what keeps us human.

    Hope you liked my humanitarian speech ;p