sacred ground

• Artist: Urban Angelz
• Description: i wrote this after losing my first love and to kinda lift the spirits of those going through the same. id love some feedback good or negative.
• Date: 08/07/2012
• Tags: sacred ground

I thought the scars had osed up... And that my heart had found its way back
But this was just the beggining of the suffering... For my mind forgot you but my heart didnt
My mind forgot your laugh your laugh your smile your grace...but in my heart you still have a place
No one may go into that special place in my heart....you already stained it with your undying love
I gaurd this place with my memories...hoping no ones love is enough to break the barrier of the past
But its to late... her love was strong enough....the new girl slayed the gaurds of my saddness with her love..
And she forced her way into the sacred grounds of my heart where my first love onced roamed..
And now....Im ok.

Comments

[pearness]

I'm going to suggest running things through a spell check before you post. osed [closed?]- beggining[beginning]- gaurd[guard]- saddness-[sadness] onced-[once] didn't[it sounds better if you use 'did not' when spoken aloud in this piece] grounds [ground]

beyond these spelling/grammer errors sticking out-- you have talent in poetry. One thing to point out- I would probably find a different word for OK at the end. OK is slang and it doesn't fit the work.