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TRUE LOVE, TRUER FEELINGS, TRUEST DESIRE. |
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My boyfriend, Adam, wrote me one of the most bitter sweet things I've ever read, and how I love it so...
"Nothing I can say can accurately describe how I feel about you. I wish for all of the painful memories of my past to be filled with nothing but pictures of you. However, even if I was offered that chance, to have my tainted past glorified by your presence, I wouldn't take it. I couldn't, for if I did, I wouldn't have the same connection with you that I do now. In a way, it is not only love that binds our eternal souls together, but pain and suffering as well. To be able to understand one's pain is easier to do when you have our own pain to help you feel their torment, to suffer along with those who suffer. Love is a strong bond, but pain offers the balance needed to be able to honestly say "I love you". I can't promise you that you will never suffer again, but as long as we are together, you will never suffer alone. Even if you wish it to be so, or don't believe anyone can, or wants to, put themselves in your shoes, just know that I am here, suffering with you, crying beside you, wiping away your tears, and kissing you until the pain subsides enough for the tears to cease staining your cheeks. We canot change what was, only was is, with the time we are given. I believe in those words, and am willing to do all I can to make sure that our time together, however long, is never forgotten. I will always hold you in my heart, and dream of the day that I can at last say that forever is how long we'll be together. It may seem like a child's fantasy, but it is a dream nonetheless, and one that will surely stay with me 'till death. You are an angel in my eyes, and the cure to the cancer of my heart. My only wish is to make you happy, and every time you smile, it's as though a small part of that wish has been granted. The only thing that frightens me, petrifies me every time I think of it, is the uncertainty of the unknown future. What will become of us in the years to come? Will we, by some extreme circumstance, be separated, ripping any dreams we might posses to pieces, sending them scattered to the winds of change, never to be what they once were? Or will true love endure the stresses of time and everyday life, leading to a long life together? We have both stated that we will never let go, unless the other lets go first. Since neither of us plan on letting go, maybe... just maybe our life will continue on together, and all the broken promises of past relationships and fears and doubts of what the future holds will suddenly be the ones that are torn and scattered, never to haunt the mind or heart again, leaving behind the heart's desire for love, and the mind's ability to sympathize."
We've been dating and nearly 3 months, and in love with each other for close to 6 months. However, its more like a year and half on my part that I've loved him, I've just been doing a good job of denying it till now. I don't expect anyone to really understand it, but I love it and want to keep it forever. <3
I am Death's Shadow, and I love him truely. Love like a wild rose, beautiful and fragile, short lived yet always returning.
 Moonlight Masquerade · Tue May 15, 2007 @ 05:10am · 4 Comments |
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