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I am more than a little upset at the moment.
As if the death of my grandmother couldn't be enough to send me off to a wonderful school year, now my grandfather is trying to sell any worldy ties we have to her. True, he invited my sisters and I to come over and look through her jewlery, but shiney trinkets are not memories. He has chosen to sell his house and move to a retirement comunity, that I can understand as well. So when he told us that he was going to be selling the things he couldn't take with him, we thought nothing of it, that he would contact us before hand so anything that was important to us could be retrieved before said sale.
We were wrong. Several items had been promised to my siblings while my grandmother was still alive, things that they were tied to and were special to them because of the memories involving my grandparents. However, in my grandfather's haste to run away from the hell he created for himself in a home no longer filled with anything but reminders that he wife (who he sorely mistreated in the end) was gone and he was alone, he allowed a stupid twit of a woman to convince him that he should sell "some of the more valuable things". Those quoted valuable things, were some of the items promised to us by our last remaining living grandmother. The china, that had been in four generations of my family before us, was sold for $1200, promised to my sister. Four generations of OUR family was sold. You cannot put a price on something that comes from your family. It would be like something you treasured was ripped from you because someone else didn't want to deal with it anymore. My sister has not been told yet. Also some furniture, that came over from NORWAY with the elder generations from my grandmothers side, that was promised to my brother, has been sold. These are things we can never get back and never replace.
So, my being upset by this is understandable, yes? I have no one to talk to, to express how much it bothered me. Except, perhaps, I thought my boyfriend. I suppose I was wrong there as well.
I do not express myself well, but it doesn't help when you are trying to keep from crying or screaming while telling someone how something that has happened that was upsetting you and they are looking up god damned rules to a ******** game online. Instead of listening to you. That hurt, more than a little. And it didn't even seem to register to him that it bothered me. I hate it, I try to call him because I'm upset and looking for just a little support, and a game is more important to him.
So I got off the phone, since obviously I was boring him so much with my melodramatic life, and cried. I hadn't cried at my grandmothers funeral, I didn't cry when my mother told me my grandfather was auctioning off our memories, but I cried when it finally hit me that my boyfriend cared more about a game than my life. I guess it was just more of keeping everything bottled up inside and then being shoved in a corner when I finally tried to express myself that made me crack, but it didn't make it any easier.
I don't understand it, I don't think I want to. There is no hope for us that I can see, everything is just sex or whining about something. There's no real basis of a realtionship. We have nothing in common, we don't live near eachother, we aren't even in the same age group. I'm the child, and I'm alone...
 Moonlight Masquerade · Sun Sep 10, 2006 @ 01:11am · 1 Comments |
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