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23 things to do to in a ministry elevator
1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they jinx you. Wait for the effects of the 'jinx' to wear off, smile, and go back for more.
3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but intentionally push the wrong ones.
4. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
5. Drop a quill and wait until someone goes to pick it up and then scream, "That's mine!"
6. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
7. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on ask if they have an appointment.
8. Lay down a Muggle Twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
9. Randomly ask "Did you feel that?" When they look at you curiously, begin to explain your theory that a troll has made its way into the building, become more panicked by the minute.
10. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. As they are getting off, tell them you "know of a potion that can cure that…"
11. When the doors close, announce to the others in a voice of forced calm, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
12. Swat at flying memos which don't exist.
13. Call out, "Group hug!" and then enforce it. Use Imperius if necessary.
14. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!" Then explain that the Legilimency lessons are working a little too well.
15. Crack open your briefcase or purse and peer inside periodically while whispering, "Got enough air in there?"
16. Stand silently and motionless in the corner facing the wall, without getting off. If someone approaches you, turn around and try to bite them.
17. Stare at another passenger for a while and then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
18. Charm one of your fingers to talk and use it to communicate with other passengers.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with your Extendable Ears.
20. Speak incantations when anyone presses a button. (Alohomora, for example)
21. Stare manically and grin at another passenger for an extended amount of time before announcing, "I have new socks on."
22. Draw a little square on the floor with your wand and announce to the other passengers in an unnecessarily loud voice, "This is MY personal space!"
23. If anyone questions any of your actions, claim to be under the influence of dark magic.
You might be obsessed with the trio if
1. You tell everyone they're your distant cousins.
2. You've written more letters to them than you can count.
3. Instead of asking WWJD (What would Jesus do?) you ask WWERDD (What would Emma, Rupert and Dan do?).
4. You have a not-so-secret shrine to one and/or all three members of the trio in your closet.
5. You have more pictures of them than you do of your own family.
6. You were sleeping in Leicester Square three days before the premiere. Ditto in London. Ditto in France.
7. You can no longer attend the premieres due to a restraining order.
8. Your room would scare even the biggest Harry Potter fans.
9. You don't consider news important unless it involves one of the trio.
10. People think you suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder because they constantly hear you referring to "Dan," "Emma," and "Rupert."
11 comebacks for when lord voldemort says he's going to kill you
1. "What did I ever do to y..oh, nevermind."
2. "Oh, ha ha, you got me!! Am I on Punk'd? Where's the camera guy, huh? Where!?"
3. "Wow, you're even dumber than you look, and that's saying something. What kind of idiot tells their victim what they're about to do?! I'm ready for you now!!" *Prepare yourself by getting into various Matrix positions, beckon him with one finger*
4. "And she's all 'F.Y.I., he's so into me and not you.' and I'm all 'Yeah, right, whatever.' Oh, I'm sorry! Did you say something?"
5. "Why do you have to be so mean?!" *produce fake tears and throw a tantrum*
6. "Uh, I'm not here right now. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEEP!!!" *take off running*
7. *cackle with laughter* "You sound like a girl ! Hey honey, come listen to this guy talk!"
8. "My dear snake-man, I must say your manners are quite poor. I have just the thing!" *put on record and sing along* 'Please - say - please - and - thank you for saying thank you!'
9. "Are you a joke? Clearly you're a joke!"
10. "I'm sensing some self-confidence problems. I hear they have an excellent psychiatric ward at St. Mungo's...and while you're there, maybe you could have them do something about your nose."
11. "Oh yeah, and you've told Harry that how many times now? I'm soooooo scared!"
You need to stop reading HBP when you...
1. Are still wearing black in mourning.
2. Ask your parents if the death of anyone you know is listed in the Obituary.
3. ...don't explain yourself when they ask who died.
4. Repeatedly report to the police that you know where Snape is hiding.
5. Keep repeating under your breath "the locket... the cup... the snake... something of Gryffindor or Ravenclaw's..."
6. Practice nonverbal spells.
7. Draw an extremely detailed Marauder's Map and obsessively check it to see where Malfoy is.
8. Try to Apparate and insist that you just need to get the hang of it.
9. ...mutter the "three D's" under your breath while you practice.
10. Comment to people that you enjoyed Dumbledore's Army because it was like having friends.
11. Randomly yell, "He will only be gone from the school when none here are loyal to him!" during class.
12. ...refuse to explain what you mean/who you're talking about.
13. Fire arrows in tribute to Dumbledore.
14. Proudly tell anyone who will listen that you are Dumbledore's man/woman through and through.
15. Write up/read lists like this one.
 mistress_of_insanity · Thu May 24, 2007 @ 09:22pm · 0 Comments |
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