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you know you've read too much hp fanfiction when:
1. You start shipping all of your friends.
2. ...you even ship some of them with inanimate objects.
3. Now you even enjoy shipping the MuggleCast/PotterCast people (Johmerson, Bork, Jurrito, Bemma, Greg/Laura/Jamie, Memerson, Wartz, K’leric, etc.)
4. You find a way to relate everything in literature to Harry Potter.
5. You decide that Harry/Giant Squid would make a cute couple.
6. You know for a fact that Voldemort actually enjoys being called Voldy.
7. Jo and Voldy are on a first name basis.
8. ...and they have cute pet names.
9. Sirius comes back as a ghost.
10. ...so does Cedric.
11. Harry decides to live as a Muggle.
12. You analyze the prophecy so much, you've given it new meaning.
13. You refuse to admit that Remus is straight.
14. ...because he obviously isn't!
15. You've gone into such detail on Luna's crazy theories that even you believe they're real.
16. Draco stopped calling Hermione a Mudblood.
17. ...and now they make a cute couple.
18. Snape is actually nice to Hermione.
19. ...and they make a great couple.
20. ...and he's nice to Harry, too.
21. ...and even Ron.
22. You start saying things like, "That reminds me of this fan fic I read the other day!"
23. You think the Marriage Law will actually come into effect in Book 7.
24. Sirius walks out from behind the veil.
25. ...and he never actually died. It was all a scam!
26. You start confusing fan fic with the books. (Example: You were expecting Snape to be nice.)
27. You've read Hermione/Dumbledore stories.
28. You hear a song and say, "I have to write a fan fic about that!"
29. You read a story that reminds you of a movie, so you watch the movie and it reminds you of a fan fiction, and you can't remember which came first.
30. Instead of writing a book report, you write a new fan fiction.
31. You still think Harry and Hermione have a chance.
32. You've read Fred/George stories before.
33. ...and you couldn't sleep for a week.
34. ...you've also read Ginny/Ron.
35. ...and you almost threw up.
36. It's sometimes hard for you to remember who actually wrote the Harry Potter books.
10 ways to annoy cornelius fudge
1. Offer him peanut butter fudge that you cooked yourself, and tell him that you named it Cornelius Fudge because it’s "nutty." Make sure it’s sticky and overdone.
2. Tell him that lime green isn’t really his color, and that he’s really more of a winter.
3. Offer to take him to the mall to buy him so new clothes in different, more flattering colors.
4. Try to get him to join a conga line with you and Voldemort and look very hurt if he refuses.
5. Tell him that "Scrimgeour always seemed like so much more of an authoritative figure."
6. Make up a theme song for him to the tune of "The Brady Bunch" and sing it wherever he goes.
7. Make up flyers containing the printed version of the theme song and hand it out to important Ministry officials.
8. Try to get him to join S.P.E.W., because "elves are people too!"
9. Paint a scar on your forehead and hop around singing, "We were telling the truth! We were telling the truth!" in an annoying, high pitched voice.
10. Give his bowler hat to the giant squid. If he gets mad at you, tell him that you were just trying to show your care for all species. Make sure to stare at him with big, puppy eyes.
21 ways to annoy/scare harry potter
21. Ask him to tell Cedric you said hello.
20. Follow him around and say "Voldemort is your uncle!" in a loud voice right next to his ear.
19. Ask him if the "anvil-sized hints" ever hit him on the head, which is really what caused the scar.
18. "So... first you were the Boy Who Lived.. then you were a nutcase... now you're The Chosen One. Why don't they just add it together so that you're the "Chosen Nutcase Who Lived?"
17. Offer him stolen silver from Sirius Black's house.
16. Make sure you tell him you got it from Mundungus Fletcher.
15. Tell him that he should stop pretending to be Harry Potter and to wipe the fake scar off his head.
14. Follow him around wearing shirts that say, "I'M WITH THE CHOSEN ONE!"
13. Buy him one that says, "THEY'RE WITH THE CHOSEN ONE!" and get really offended when he doesn't wear it. Be sure to tell him you made it yourself.
12. Ask if he knows whether Voldemort had any scars and if so, where are they?
11. Everytime you see him, say "Do you like Luna Lovegood?" in a sing-song voice.
10. Ask him if thestrals have pretty eyes.
9. Re-enact his triumph over the dragon in the first task. Then ask if you can do it again on his Firebolt.
8. If he asks you a question, sing the answer in at least three different styles of music and then ask if he likes to sing.
7. Buy him concealer and tell him to put it over his scar so Voldemort won't recognize him.
6. Tell him Moaning Myrtle has fallen in love with him and make sure he goes to ask her about it.
5. Whenever it rains, use his back as a piano and start singing, "Remember When it Rained" in a loud and terrible way.
4. If he does or says something unusual, say, "Don't worry. We'll call St. Mungo's and get you the help that you so desperately need."
3. Ask if Muggles can see his scar.
2. Run up to him giggling and say, "Romilda Vane says you have a tattoo on your chest. Can I see it?"
1. Tell him that if he dies defeating the Dark Lord, you want his broomstick.
 mistress_of_insanity · Thu May 24, 2007 @ 09:18pm · 0 Comments |
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