Dammit... another downswing... and i can't even call mason in hopes of pulling out of it any time soon. -sigh- these stupid depressions always manage to hit at the most inconvienient of times... not that theres ever a convenient time for them to hit... No i'm to the point now where i'm almost in tears.. and for me that's pretty bad... I wrote it out earlier today, what my "levels" of depression are... because everyone knows that for each person there are little signals to show just how bad things are... so yeah... posting...
KASSIE'S LEVELS OF DEPRESSION
1. Quiet
2. Pessimistic (acting like the worlds going to end)
3. Sitting in a corner drawing emoness
4. Teary eyed and moping
5. Sadistic/Angry
6. Suicidal
7. Self inflicting pain
8. Crying
9. Empty/ Calm
10. Zombified/emotionless
yah as you can probably tell ten is the worst... one is okay... Right now i'm at about an 8... I've been staving this one off for so long that instead of just turning into doodling fuel like most of my downswings do its gone straight past the suicidal/self inflicting pain bit and straight to cry... The last time a depression has jumped straight to that stage was the last day of school. So yeah... as i sit here fighting off tears with no way of cheering myself up because nobody is on.. and the one person who without fail can always cheer me up hasn't made any attempt to contact me all day despite my repeated attempts to get ahold of him... -sigh- actually its probably not that bad.. depression tends to make me overreact... Well yeah... this entry can only hold my attention for so long... guess i might see some of you before i leave to colorado... dammit... but probably not... -sigh- i fail at staving off the tears.... night peeps... crying crying crying crying
 mistress_of_insanity · Sat Aug 04, 2007 @ 09:36am · 6 Comments |
