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Today was my first day of school, Sophomore year of high school. So far, it isn't too bad. I wonder how long that will last. ANYWAY. Yeah, sure today was really uneventful but I would like to get something off of my chest. Alright, so this kinda starts last year. Great how issues travel with you through time. I don't think this is going to be resolved any time soon, seeing as I have made no real effort to see what is going on and I think I am probably just assuming things. Okay, moving on. Last year there was this boy. And here it comes, that classic boy story of girls likes boy and knows not what to do. Okay, so we talked and were becoming friends, which was great for me. I'm not sure about him. But anyway, I attempted to invite him to a party. Great idea on my part. Anyway, after that, he started walking a different way and he never really talked to me anymore. I found that very upsetting, as most people who were crushing on someone would. Of course, I showed that in spite to the people around me. That's how I show that I am hurt, I guess. I don't know. I'm no psychologist. So he stopped coming around and I assumed it was because he was tired of the little freshman girl that was attempting to befriend him. I don't know the real reason why or if he didn't even notice, which may even be worse than it would be if he was avoiding me.
Anyway, so I was at school this morning and waiting in the lunch room for classes to start. I was hoping that I wouldn't really see him at all although I had been thinking about him a lot lately. I'm sad, I know. As I was waiting alone at the table(one of my friends was walking towards me) and I spotted him across the lunch room getting his schedule. I figured, I saw him, he didn't see me. It doesn't matter, he won't remember. So I had a little freak out, and my friends were wondering why. I didn't really answer, but I never really do so that doesn't exactly matter at this point in time. So I went through most of the day(1st, Advisory, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th) hour without seeing him again. And I figured I wouldn't because he is a Senior and I am a Sophomore(don't bug me about that one). But I was sadly mistaken. It wasn't one of those far away spottings, no. We almost ran into each other. We looked at each other for a couple of seconds then I looked away, to the ground and tried not to look at him. I thought from far away was enough, I was wrong. It's one of those things that you don't want to happen, but secretly wish to happen anyway. So I went through the rest of the day without seeing him again. Until I was leaving the building. Luckily enough for me, I don't think I could handle another encounter at the time, I spotted him while looking for a friend I was waiting for. I don't think he saw me. Of course, you never know what other people are looking at, thinking and all that jazz.
So I tried to shake those thoughts away as I went to my friend Katie's house for a good couple of hours, but that didn't really work. It was on my mind for quite some time and I don't think I will start forgetting about it any time soon.
Even though I said I wouldn't b***h about her, my sister is acting like the normal attention needing, thinking she has the only problems person she always is when she has had a bad day. She never really considers how other people feel about those kind of things. Maybe they had a bad day and couldn't really handle any more problems for the rest of the night. I would write more on that, but I don't feel like it would go unnoticed if I wrote anymore.
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And I don't feel the need to go on
I was happier singing along the way
I had things, I need to say
But now it's like a swallowed tape
That holds up my face from inside
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 Secrecy For The World · Wed Sep 05, 2007 @ 04:58am · 0 Comments |
