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I don't really know what to think about my life right now. I was having a shitty day and I didn't think anything was worth doing at the moment. For once, lunch didn't annoy me to the point of wanted to b***h slap someone. That is probably I was too transfixed in my yummy lunch of BBQ ribs and fries from Applebees. It was really good. I'm actually kinda glad I forgot it at home yesterday. It was definitely more needed today then it was yesterday. Let's do a recap of the day! Woo hoo. I woke up feeling woozy and not in the mood to go to school, but I went anyway. I took an Excedrin Headache when I got to school because the second I walked in that building I was bombarded with the evil little thing called a headache. Anyway, I went to my locker and got poked by this guy that eats breakfast with me. Well yesterday I found out he likes me, but I really, REALLY don't like him. I don't want to hurt his feelings so I honestly hope he never brings it up. After that I went to breakfast and got some french toast Minneapolis Public School style. Believe me, that isn't very good. But I was hungry, so I ate. There was no one to sit with at breakfast today that I didn't feel awkward around(at the time) so I just read a book after I finished eating. English was lame. I scratched a smiley face into my arm with a juice tinfoil lid that the schools put on the juices. That was about it. I didn't listen to my teacher today. I really wasn't in the mood to talk about a man who thought he turned into a giant bug, gets ignored by his family, then dies in the end of the story. I didn't want to talk about something that had the potential of depressing me anymore than I already was.
After English I went to Advisory, because Wednesday is Advisory day at Patrick Henry High School. I read through that then went to Health. We watched the beginning of A Beautiful Mind. So far it isn't that bad. Then I went to French and was bored out of my mind. We went over vocabulary and a new story we were doing. Then there was lunch, which has already been discussed. After that was World History. We did bookwork. Then there was Honors Chemistry where we took notes and listened to the teacher talk. I read some more in that class. Finally, sixth hour came along. And we did these compass art things for our journals(it was Geometry). Then, the end of the school day! I stayed after today to help finish making designs for people who coudln't and for GSA(Gay Straight Alliance). I talked to the boy that I like a little bit and that was good. Once the people in GSA went to go set up our display case, my friend and I stayed in the classroom for a little bit. She took my musings from the previous night(a.k.a. 'love note') and gave them to the guy I like. I ran like all hell. Wonderful. I was so scared to face the music. I almost had a panic attack. And I felt like I was going to vomit. Eventually, I went back to the classroom. He was there and I decided to bear through it. He was busy organizing some club stuff for his group and I drew on the white board. Then I asked him if I could talk to him(after much deliberation) and we did. I asked him if he read the note. He said he did. I asked him what he thought, he shrugged. I asked him if he needed to think about it, he said he did. I fear what the outcome may be. I shouldn't be getting so hung up over this, but I really can't help it very much. I haven't been in too many relationships and I get rejected ALL THE TIME. I really don't want to get rejected this time. I hope something good happens for me soon. And I want it to be this. He won't be at school tomorrow so that should give him more time. If he doesn't like me, I wish he would just tell me. If he does(which I hope he does), I will be very happy. Yes, very happy. Maybe he isn't sure. Whatever it is, I don't want to freak out too much over this. That is why I am writing it down, so I don't overdo it or wear myself out.
And here is the song to fit the mood:
Turnaround, every now and then I get a
little bit lonely and you're never coming
round
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit tired of listening to the sound of
my tears
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit nervous that the best of all the
years have gone by
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified and then I see the look in
your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit restless and I dream of
something wild
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child
in your arms
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit angry and I know I've got to get
out and cry
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified but then I see the look in
you eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll never be the boy you always
you wanted to be
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll always be the only boy who
wanted me the way that I am</font>
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's no one in the universe as
magical and wonderous as you
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's nothing any better and there's
nothing I just wouldn't do
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
[i:c91fd492be]
And I don't feel the need to go on
I was happier singing along the way
I had things, I need to say
But now it's like a swallowed tape
That holds up my face from inside
[/size:c91fd492be][/i:c91fd492be][/align:c91fd492be][/color:c91fd492be]
 Secrecy For The World · Thu Oct 11, 2007 @ 12:51am · 1 Comments |
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