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I'm cruising down the highway at 75 miles per hour. I'm cruising with a bad idea in my head and a beating in my heart. It feels like my body wants to be alive again. My heart wants to pound a million miles a minute and my stomach wants to be filled with butterflies. My mind wants to release. It wants the comfort. I'm on the fast track to heart-ache and I know it. With the stamp of 'No Way, Bad idea' on it, I want it even more.
'I cracked my head and broke my heart.'
I'm cruising down the highway at 75 miles per hour with a stinging in my eyes. This is a collision waiting to happen. This is a bad accident in the making. My heart yearns again. My heart beats, but my mind is tired. Tired of the same old song and dance.
[i]This world will never be what I expected.
My tank in running on empty, but I can't stop now. There is too much ahead of me, too much to wish for. My soul throbs in time with my beating heart and my mind's screaming lowers to a dull roar. I want to listen to the logic, listen to my mind. It isn't working.
No one will ever see this side reflected.
I want to keep going, but the tank it empty. The road stretches out before me. It is so tempting, even though I know I am an idiot, so I keep walking. Walking and running. My body is agreeing with my mind and I fall.
Why do I do this? Over and Over.
The longer I go, the harder I fall. It doesn't take much. Just a crack in the pavement. All it takes is the wrong thought, the wrong feeling towards the wrong person. Little do I know it, but I am on the fast track to heart-ache.
But everything just fell apart.
For now I will sit with a smile. I will talk and laugh. I will lock away what my heart wants and enjoy our time. Things only last for so long. Maybe I can make it through to the end. I can wait and watch and hope. I can kill myself over this, but it won't help. My heart beats a million miles a second, but my mind's screaming falls to a dull roar.
I want to be inside your heaven. Take me to the place you cry from when the storm blows you away.
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And I don't feel the need to go on
I was happier singing along the way
I had things, I need to say
But now it's like a swallowed tape
That holds up my face from inside
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 Secrecy For The World · Fri Aug 29, 2008 @ 05:15am · 0 Comments |
