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I have tricks in my pocket. I have things up my sleeve but I am the opposite of the stage magician. He gives you illusion with the appearance of truth. I give you truth in the pleasant disguise of illusion.

I've been in a state of nothingness and fantasy for about a week now. No stress, no confusion, no hatred. Lying in bed dreaming about people I've never met and will never forget. Yes, I've been in dreamworld. I should be here more often. Listen to music, watch movies, and dream. Dreamworld for me stars actors of certain calibers, From John Malkovich to D.J. Qualls, the Easter Bunny to other people's imaginary friends. Things that never existed but always will. Nothing needs to make sense, I hang around in a club I created in my head where the party never ends. Unless, of course, The Glass Menagerie is on, with Joanne Woodward and John Malkovich. Or perhaps The Core with Aaron Eckhart and Hilary Swank--something along those lines, something to keep you on your toes, something with adventure. Adventure. That's in a lot of my dreams, too. I have no doubt in my mind that this slow deterioration of reality is at all unhealthy, but I just can't help but get away. I've always had that problem of daydreaming during class, when people are trying to speak to me, when I'm speaking to them. My reality has been failing and I don't care about anything anymore. What are your views on my steady climb out of the hole? Is it better than what I had before? The yelling, the anger. All gone. Is this a good thing?

Or is something missing?