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Am I pathetic or this type of stuff normal? I made a playlist of all the songs that remind me. Look I got 44! Gratz right?? Wow sam was right my music is depressing... Even half the screamo is ******** depressing if you can understand the lyrics. Damn you god and that wielded weapon of yours. It hurts bt guess what I can be stronger. You may stab me through the heart over and over again. But I'm one pestilent b*****d. I'm warning you your going to have to find another way to take me down else I'll just keep standing up. Impossible to fight back you say? All well you know I'll try anyways. Happiness. It is possible. I can usually fix my problems. I have the people I love to help me. And whether they both hate me or not I still love them with all I am. I'd do anything for them. Though I'll be honest i still don't see how I did anything wrong. People... they all mistake my actions. They read me the wrong way. My words also. I'm sorry I'm different. I can't be read like the other books that walk this earth. I would never purposely hurt someone I love. someone I care so much for. That gentle but firm grip is because I care. Can't anyone see that? That's fine. Those words i speak may sounds harsh and bitter but the underlying meaning is so different. I'm sorry I don't speak on the surface. I'm sorry i did everything wrong. I'm sorry I fell in love. because... no.that would be a lie. Cause I enjoyed every minute of it. The pain can be healed. I know because it has been before.
I would die for the sake of others. As he once said. "Die for anyone. What Have I become?" I don't even like that song that much...but it makes a good point. Why am I what I am? Where have I gone wrong? Why am I so different? What makes me so willing? It's been like that since I met the kid.(yes this is the truth) Well she is much to mature to be called kid but it's the nickname either way. Since I laid eyes on her. Before we even talked. Weird, I felt a connection wanted to be a friend but Afterall I'm shy. How did this girl change my life? I'm not even in love with her or anything. But I feel like I have a purpose on this earth. Is this connection because it has to do with her? Or is it because she is in some way like me? What is her purpose? Better yet... what the hell is mine? How did she change me? My world flipped over when I met her. But why?! Who is she? Then all the people she introduced me to...Why them? It's almost time for me to move on and I'm not even close to understanding. This mus tbe one of thos things you can't. But I'll still never give up. I'd die first.

I'm really bad at writing but it's fine noone reads these things anyway. ^_^ My little outlet of emotion. I enjoy these journals