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Oh God what have I done? I've really ******** up this time. Right now, I can't even breathe, I've lost my train of thought, shyt, I can't even think, I promised you I'd never cheat but now look at me, I did that s**t && I aint even blink, it's like I had a drink, I was intoxicated with desire, it's like I was the gas && your love was the fire, but the fire went down a little bit && I went searching for sumthin to continue the flame, and I found somethin... yea yu already know him by name, I'd waited so long for him, but look... it turns out he aint even what I wanted && what I wanted was there the whole time-it was you- I feel so stupid right now, I don't have anything to say, I don't know what to do, these tears speak the words I can't, but wait, I'm not the one who should be crying && I aint even gone lie I messed everything up && now theres nothing here to cease this deafening rain, theres no one else to blame, I shouldn't cry, I had good luck,I got yu but I guess I couldn't see that, it's like that old saying, you don't know what you got till it's gone, I had something special, somethin heaven sent, but now I've lost him just like I would an apartment if I aint pay the rent. You were my everything, why didn't I listen to my heart instead of what I got down there?
What was I thinking? I musta been off my rocker, you thought I was different then them other girls, I just had to go && prove you wrong, I had already started loving you more than anything, maybe even life itself, but now I've lost the only man I've ever truly loved, damn baby, I need you in my life, without you it'll be a complete disaster, It'll be a wreck, It'll be a waste, you were the one thing that filled in the cracks in my life, the other half of me, but now I'm incomplete, I'm like a tree with no leaves, I have no air, I can't breathe, I have no sun, I can't see, I have no mind, it's gone, && baby I can't think.
My sky is bare, you think I lied when I said 'I love you', but I didn't, it's far from that, I just got caught up && I let go and I did some things. But that was an act of lust, Baby, that wasn't love. i was blinded from everything that mattered && everything was you, now I can NEVER gain your trust, no I'll NEVER get it back, I'm like a ship without it's captain. My whole life is out of wack. If I don't have you, then lifes not worth living, this relationship was supposed to be split down the middle, you give your 50, I give mine but you was givin the entire 100 percent.
I can't believe myself, I know I've had my chances && now we cant even give this relationship a second glance, it's torn apart, just like my heart was when I actually started to think, if I'm going to lose you, I know theres nothing I can do to stop that. Theres nothing I can say anymore, this love was an open doorway, but now I've closed that door, like people have done to me before. All I know is that I need you because, without you, I can't think, Me without you= nothing because, thats how much of a part you are of me. Without you, I'm worthless, I can't even explain. Without you theres no me, so I guess my lifes gone, without you, my skies aren't blue, their grey. Without you theres no sun in my sky, only clouds && an endless amount of rain && without you theres no happiness, only sadness && pain, my heart is blown to smitherines && no amount of love from ANYONE can fix that, the only person on this earth who could fix it is you, but why would you want to after all this s**t I've put you through?, I can't even write anymore, all I have to say is that theres nothing but barren walls inside of me without you, theres nothing but emptyness && a place the used to be designated for two.