Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

you know that feeling when your just sitting there on the edge of breaking down and just bursting out tears and your just trying to find reasons to live and its hard to find any at the time and there just seems to be no1 around to talk to? thats just about what im feeling. and frankly im only still alive becuz of my incapability to kill my self if it would effect some1.if absolutely no1 cared i could just go leave for eternity and sit in a fiery bed that i had made. but my family would never not care.... so i cant..............

besides..... i still have a little farther to fall.......... iv already proven im gonna fail at school becuz i contradict any work ethic i try to put forth. i seem to be running low on friends. and i am hated or at least gonna be forgotten by the one person on this planet i care most about.....

also i always ******** up all my chances at happiness. and i cant even seem to write poetry anymore T__T. sure to most this is probly just a winy little emo complaining about useless s**t.... well w/e ******** yourself i know its not that important but it gets to ya.


and im not going to see a psych or a doctor. if i cant stop it myself im weak. and if i die cuz of my own stupidity big surprise.

this is what i get for falling in love.