Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

The counsoler called me in tellign me abotu an Upward program. Its a collage program for kids that have proven to be extreamly smart OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL AND CLASSES. That the only way to get in it mroe then 1 teacher recomends you, doesnt matter why they recomended you, just that they did. Only 10 students get chosen from all the recomendations. I was one of them. She explained how they'd help me with whatever i'm having trouble in, and that there will be two seniors at my school that will be considered my private tutors (aside from the program's tutors). I'd have to go on three Saturdays out of each month, and in summer I'd have to go everyday as if if was school. I want to accept it because it would also be giving me collage experians, they'd be paying me 40 dollars a month to go (awsome), and I'd be getting that extra help i need... But one thing prevents me. One of the teachers who recomended me was Mr. Jurado, not because he thinks i'm out ragesly smart, but cause he says there is something wrong with me learning. (I know cause he told me today face to face).
Okay i hear that a lot so obveasly that isnt why. Apparently he and i have way diffrent ways of doign things. He thinks i cal leanr just as fast and better using his method, ******** i can barly do that with my own.
First i thought he was nice, but now no. he seems to just love putting me on the spot...That is one of the worst things anyone can do to me, put me on the spot. I hate it, i have paranoia issues, anxiety issues, and and completly traumatized when it comes to people putting me on the spot...that i wont explain cause its to personal.
So hard...I'm completly irritated cause of him...Today He put me in the spot again...but this time when he did i thought of my dad...thus it made me have apanic attack and cry...he took me otu of the class and told me to calm down, that i shouldnt be crying just cause he called my attention (i wont say why he called my attention cause you people will consider it stupid, but its something i personally cant handle). Then he told me to go to the bathroom and just stay there till i feel better...I stayed there for the rest of the class time crying adn trying to breath (asthma attack occured...) Not till i come back liek 10 min after the bell rang (still crying) he asks why i took it so harsh...no responce came from me. But since i have lunch after that i was able to calm down. And well my new senior friend made me feel better. He's really sweet and cute...-_-'... He let me go thru his backpack, ^-^. We where joking around. i was saying, "if i find condoms in here i swear!" his responce, "Yea i dont carry those with me all the time..." but we where just jokign around, and for side note i didnt find and condoms in his backpack, but i did find some glasses. Which he let me try on, then i felt happy with the compliment he gave me. He's so nice....there is no other reason than that he might be gay. Lunch ended and i went to my next class...and the next and the next and the next. After school i stayed at the library w/ anais just randomly looking at things, and Felipe keeped over hearing our conversations and responding to them >.< My brotold me my mom was on her way to pick us up, so i went outside. Then i saw Ms. Boni (main secutary at the high school)...she boosted my selfestem going, "Ay que chula, you're so cute and adorable!" then she gave me a kiss >.< are they aloud to do that? (no not on the lips you weirdos)....my day was good and bad. I feel bad cause of the upward program thing and what's going on with Mr. Jurado...also some other stuff. But i feel good cause Ms Boni and my new senior friend, and someother stuff.. So this day might be considered okay.. i dunno