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In the Dark of the Night... |
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It is not entirely dark, or late, for that matter, not even midnight, but alas, my sleeping habits have left me awake with nothing but my vivid imagination to comfort me. As life would have it, chaotic seems to be the judgement passed over me at this very point in time. As if it was any other way to begin with. With that said, I carry on to another point, other than the craziness that is my life.
I have forgiven my mother for her immature mistakes, and her inability to admit when she is wrong. For some, to forgive may seem but an easy task accomplished day in and day out, but over the many years in which I have been allowed to live thus far, I have had to, unfortunantly, forgive many for things done onto me whether by accident and the all too occasional purpose. Perhaps the accidents can be overlooked, we are all human, we all make them, it is our sin. We are born in to it, and we shall die in it. But in my case, the reasons for forgiving that have been directly aimed towards me could not, what a big surprise, be few and far between. Just like the friends I seem to have, few and far between...
I have also forgiven my ex, for the sake of my new love, who has made my life more colorful than I ever could have imagined. I have forgiven a lot of people, and as I write them down, and allow them to float away after tieing them to a balloon, I come to realize that I have a lot of anger problems. ME! Anger problems! Of all people!! The happiest blonde not getting laid every ten seconds, happy as a clam, has anger issues. Of course, this is another pun God decided to lay on my shoulders, as if he didn't have enough of me to laugh at already.
Le Sigh. That was super, super emo. But what isn't these days. We learn that our problems we wear on our sleeves, not because we need the attention (though sometimes that attention is necessary, there are some that take a step to the extreme...) but because our sorrows and woes make us feel more... human. And many of us will disagree, but you know, when you explain your problems, you feel a sort of, relief, not from your body and mind, but from your soul. Next to happiness, sadness and anger, which go hand in hand, are the strongest emotions we possess, and therefor, feel the best when we are displaying them.
Anyways, the point of my writing, is not to convey my burning dislike for forgiveness, but to address the issue on how hard it really is to do it. Even something simple seems like crossing an ocean with nothing but a inner tube and a broken paddle. Some steals from you, they apologize, you know you should forgive, but do you really feel in your heart and soul that you are ready for such a thing?
And that's when I come full circle to my point, in the dark of the night, we all sit and realize, the bigger picture is to forgive, but never forget.....
 ..s.k.i.t.t.l.e.s.. · Tue Oct 14, 2008 @ 07:19am · 0 Comments |
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