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How many years must a girl, father-less, endure the pain of being abandoned? I mean, really. How much more hurt can everyone around me inflict upon my heart? I know that this sounds particulary emo, but honestly. Here is the story...
When my mom was in high schoo, she met, my biological father. Whom, she loved with all her heart. They were high school sweet-hearts. Senior year, my mother is pregnant. He was there through the birth, there through it all. Got my name tattoo'd on his arm. Then, poof! He ******** disappears as if he never knew me. He never held me in his arms, he never looked me into the eyes, never saw that I had a soul, and that I had feelings. I never had anything. NO! because what was I? The genetics of two people on earth, molded together and became a child, and that child is a woman now. And she is pissed.
Now that that is out, here is what the problem is. Some woman, named "debbie," is on my myspace (which by the way I hate myspace) telling me that she is my aunt and she wants to see me. Oh really? Where were you when your bastered brother was walking away from his OWN CHILD!?! Where was anyone yelling at him? Why did they let their OWN CHILD walk away from a child? Why? How could they? And now they want to know how I am, and who I am, and How I am, and every other way one can know a person!!! Well I stand on my pedastal and I shall not back down, I am mad as hell. I deserve more than that, I deserve the world from that man. All the hurt I have suffered, because one "boy," was not man enough to take care of his responsibilites. He wasn't a baby, he was 21 years old, he was past that excuse.
My mother raised me. She worked her hands to the bone, she had multiple jobs, and she herself was young. She was 17, and she fought, the blood on her hands is there and visible, and she has every right to say proudly that she delt with her demons. She faced her fears, stuck it through, and helped make me who I am today.
So in answer to you, "debbie," or who ever the hell you are claiming that you are, all of your damn hands are clean, and that proves that you have done nothing since I was born to make sure that I was okay, that I was fed. We half starved growing up. We wore bad clothing handed down from people we never knew. We played in the streets, with glass and fire, and there were injuries that had no medical to attend it. We slept in cold rooms with no heat, and hot rooms, with not an ounce of cold. We wrote angry things on our walls to remind us that we were still ourselves. We went to school, picked on because we could not afford all the great things life had to offer.
No. I dont give a s**t about who you want to know about, because that little girl you so vaguely remember nor cared to remember, is not there anymore. She is a grown woman, and as that grown woman, I have no respect for thsoe who cannot deal with their problems. I am sorry, and I denounce you.
 ..s.k.i.t.t.l.e.s.. · Fri Dec 01, 2006 @ 09:16pm · 10 Comments |
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