Torn Between Contentment and Wants
Why do I keep continuing to hurt myself? It is as if I have some sort of masochistic torment that dwells within the abyss that bears the endearing title of "my mind." I spin around in an on-going circle of emotion that leaves me, in most cases, speechless and weary. However, even though I could feel my body become limp and depressed, I cannot seem to sleep. My restless thoughts dance around my mind like a roaring flame enveloped in its own non-stop fire tetrahedron.
Yet, even though I understand what causes such torment, I do not want to release it. It is almost as if the grip that possesses me is tightened around my heart, ready to crush and constrict the life out of it if I simply try to release myself from the pain. I know that I will not die if I remove the source of my suffering, but the anguish that I will wield upon my shoulders during the process of removal is too much to even bear.
This battle that I thrust upon myself has taunted me and drove me toward agony, but I am too weak to fight against it. Like a disease, it makes me nauseous and enfeebled, causing a melancholy to devour me as I proceed through everyday life.
I recognize the source. I understand how it consumes me. Why do I keep continuing to hurt myself?
~*Whispers of a Dream*~
