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Life can be so confusing... things that you thought were can change with just a little bit of talking to someone who cares. Oi va, dealing with dad's death has really been hard for me. Not because I miss him. Because of all the things he did. It's hard for me to miss him; when I feel so sad about what he did to me. I don't understand why he would the things he did if he loved me, you know? It's also hard because no one in my family cares... Like... No, one. They all say,"It was in the past, just let it go." Or,"I know exactly how you feel." And it's like, gtfo wtf? No you don't! Because it never happened to you, and you act like it's nothing. oi va.

It's kinda weird too because some members of my family care more about our dog dieing than our dad. I don't get that. I mean... It's a dog. Logically animals don't have souls, so why should we value their lives the same as ours? I mean I value animals yes, and I loved my dog, but my dog wasn't worth as much as my dad you know? I mean... He didn't take care of me. Well, my dad didn't always either, but still. People are all sad about the dog but not our dad. It bothers me so much that I was the one that had a lot of all the stuff happen to, and yet I'm the one that mainly cares; while everyone else just stays in their little selfish, self-righteous bubble, not caring about anyone but themselves. Why do they all have to be so rude and uncaring? I don't get it. I mean... It's fun and happy to be... well... happy, nice, and loving. So, why doesn't everyone in my family want to be like that? I don't understand. Anyway... Just going through a lot of emotional stuff right now. oi va.... *ends minor rant*

song-sound
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Mon Sep 14, 2009 @ 06:32am

Mmmm'k, I have to argue with you about the dog/dad thing.

To you, it may seem silly to mourn the dog more than your dad, but look at it from your family's point of view.

To Deidra, especially, your dad was some jerk that she could (somewhat) easily brush off as part of the past; Corkie was a beloved member of the current family. You dad lived somewhere else, didn't play a part of her everyday life, and wasn't someone she held affection for. When Corkie died, she called me in tears because she felt as though her best friend had died. To everyone that lived in the house, he was someone/something constant and welcomed. They took care of him, and he belonged there. When he died, it left a space that was previously filled. When your dad died, the most they may have felt was the lack of his far away presence, y'know? He was someone from a past they didn't like, and when he was gone they may have even had a "good riddance" thought? I don't know; I'd rather not assume that about your family.

But, do you get the drift of what I'm saying? I think you were the one that stayed "closest" to your dad, and so you felt his passing more than they did.

*shrug* That's just my reasoning. I've always been raised with animals, though, and I value them as members of the family. I also believe they have their own places in heaven, so....we see it a little differently I guess.

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