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I was talking to my dad toady about why I work so hard and never get rewarded for my grades, and he said "Because when I get good grades, I'm paid in success". What the HELL kind of logic is that??

I'm not making this entry to rant about my parents. That would be pointless. But I strongly disagree with their logic. Them not paying me for doing chores is like unpaid labor, and I have yet to see any success from getting good grades.

In fact, since I got good grades as a kid, that made them put me in harder and harder classes, so now I'm a nervous wreck with average grades, lots of stress, and practically no social life. I hardly hang out with my friends anymore. So I have yet to see the success in doing well in school. Actually, it basically set me up for failure.

Oh yeah, don't even try to tell me that crap like "If you do well in school now, it'll help you find a high paying job and go to a good college and blah blah blah!" Because I really don't think I'll be able to find a nice job with the permanent twitch I've already started to develop from stress at school.

Besides, my parents never reward me for anything anymore. I remember back in elementary school, when I'd bring home a good report card, they'd buy me a new video game. It was awesome, and actually GAVE ME MOTIVATION TO GET GOOD GRADES. But now the only thing they give me is advice. Or more chores to do. If I'm REALLY lucky, I get a "good job". So I have no motivation anymore.

On top of that, I get grounded for getting C's now. (I think we covered that already in an earlier entry...) So now if I get a C in ANYthing, it makes me spend more time stressing out over how badly my parents are gonna KILL me than studying to bring my grade up. D:

And on top of ALL that, the only classes I'm taking that are on sophomore level are PE and study hall. And maybe Japanese, but that's a language, so that doesn't count. That's only 2 or 3 out of 7 classes. I WANTED to take normal classes that are on my grade level, but my parents made me take freakin hard crap. So because of THAT, I get bad grades in THOSE classes because of the advanced level, and then my parents get mad at ME when THEY'RE the ones that PUT me in those classes!!

Man, I wish I could go back in time. Back to when I was in kindergarden, so I could act like an idiot and my parents would put me in average classes. But it's too late for that now. >.<

OH YEAH, ONE MORE THING...Since everyone seems to like to side against me, I know SOMEbody's gonna say "Well, your classes wouldn't be that hard if you study and work hard at it!" Well, you KNOW WHAT?? I DO study. And it doesn't help much. And I go to tutoring for my history class, but that's because we (usually) get food. And you know what else? I'M LAZY. There, I said it. I'm LAZY and I don't want to take time out of my day to study any more than I have to. See? I admit it. I'm lazy, and I doubt anything will change that.

Sigh...So now that I admit that I'm a lazy couch potato, everyone's probably gonna comment saying "You need to stop being so lazy and start studying to pull your grades up!" Well, save your finger strength. Nothing will change my laziness except for motivation from my parents. Which I'm not getting right now. So there. >.<

Grrr, anger is bad...But I gotta say, congratulations if you've read this far. This was a freakin long entry. Thanks for putting up with me in my selfish emo moment...And have a nice day... gonk