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Mood: inspired/energetic/motivated/determined/optimistic
Listening to: Strange Love - Depeche Mode (******** LOVE THEM right now)
Something I said today: Can't think of anything worth putting, sorry
^ It's been far too long since I included this tidbit.

Been far too long since I posted an entry. But as I was reading... just an hour or two ago and then trying to go to sleep afterwards, my mind just started racing with thoughts, parallels, connections, and I eventually got my journal (my physical one to prevent losing my initial inspiration to meager amounts of time). It's been wonderful. I haven't enjoyed myself like I have the past hour since vacation started I think (I'm being intellectually productive - YAY!). Seriously, once something hits you, bearing in mind that all things are connected (and that "our words connect us" wink you could go on forever in thoughts (and it's literally too overwhelming to track it all to record - so crazy). And it happened "In The Later Hours" no less (my self-designated most productive time). Expect this to be a LONG journal entry - REALLY LONG. I'll even it count it as an "Ink Expression Collection" piece - most likely the last Ink Expression Collection piece (which makes a trinity out of it I believe, I'm not certain). It wasn't intended to be, but the themes coincide to the point that it works out (I'll likely explore the same themes dozens of times more over time though, so perhaps it's foolish to say it's the final entry of it... I'll just have to come up for a different title for future pieces with similar themes). See how this is just the introductory paragraph but new things keep coming up? It's incredible! Anyway... time to move onto the actual "journal" part.

I had been contemplating how EXTREMELY LAZY I've been this vacation. It's the first summer I've ever had where I don't actually have a class to attend. I'm supposed to be enjoying the last summer of the rest of my life (metaphorically at least - sure more summers will come and go, but I'll already be so busy in life that I know I'm not going to have a vacation this long in years... if ever). I've been slothing my days away, entirely unproductive (I'm addicted - but that's such a huge topic in itself I'll HAVE to refrain from talking about it). And as a result, I've realized that, despite all the work required, and how big a pain in the a** it can be, and the massive amounts of stress that can come about as a result, I'm happier when I'm being productive. I've also realized that I'm not a sel-motivated person. The two traits DO NOT mix well. I keep telling myself that I'm going to read today... and then don't. Same story with writing (it really is a miracle that I wrote as much as I did in this one interval). Being lazy is bad. You know that awesome Madonna line "Time goes by so slowly for those who wait" (which, fun fact, was a Madonna lyric LONG before Hung Up was out - the line was recycled from a song off her Like a Prayer album from 1989)? IT'S A ******** LIE! Time flies - and REALLY fast at that (whether you're being productive or among "those who wait"! We're almost halfway through 2009! Think about that. I can perfectly well remember writing my expectations for 2009 down as though it was something extremely recent. I've been vegetarian for over three months. I have my AA even! All of that's history now. It's scary how fast time go by. In just a week's time or so, I've completely fallen behind the current events I strive to keep up with, I haven't read a complete book, and I damn well haven't applied for any scholarships or gotten a job yet. And we're already half way through the ******** year? NOT COOL! It made me think about our lives as a whole. Time won't slow down for us - the rest of our lives will pass by just as quickly as the past six months have. And before we realize it (well, after most likely... but that's not the point), our lives will be close to ending. And then what's left of us? Memories? The people who had memories of us eventually die too (taking an extreme view because 1984 really makes you see things that way). Will your existance eventually be erased?

And then I find a solution I've been fascinated with for a long time! Iconography. You can't erase an icon. Which, as an English Major, I realize books have more icons than any other category will ever have (which gives Literature awesome bonus points). Holden is immortal to the world. Macbeth is immortal. Hamlet is immortal. Both Romeo and Juliet are immortal. Alice is immortal. Hester Prynne is immortal - and by extension, their creators have immortalized themselves. The authors haven't just created icons in literature. No, rather, by extension, the authors have become icons themselves. As if Shakespeare's name will ever be forgotten by the world! History itself is just a plethora of iconography. So many actors and actresses have attained immortality through becoming icons. Musicians have the potential for iconography as well (Madonna WILL be an icon even after death, for instance. 3 ******** decades. YOU try staying on top for three decades. It makes you an icon.). Even scientists can become icons (Einstein much?)! Virtually any career path can lead to one becoming an icon. It's crazy to contemplate that people, ideas, history, imagination - can all have lasting impact long after their inception or end!

And then I remember were in the sixth month of the year already! I've accomplished a good amount so far into the year and yet I'm yearning for much more! "I just can't get enough!" I realize just how important self motivation is. Self motivation is HUGE. Eventually, you'll be out of "the system" and NEED self motivation just to survive and be "whole" on some level. And then iconography strikes me again. There are so many lives that might as well not have been brought into existance because its as if they never were (think of all the AIDS deaths to children in Africa, for starters)! They don't even have the CHANCE to make themselves known to the world (although collectively they'll be recognized for their hopeless plight). But I DO have an oppurtunity to leave a mark on the world - to become an icon. As do you if you're reading this. We have the resources available to us to become icons! And when you consider all the lives that will never have the resources, it's almost selfish NOT to try and make your impact on the world known. And EVERYONE has impact (even, if not especially, the lives of those who will be forgotten by history). So many of us have the resources to be remembered by history and yet won't strive for it (I'm really better appreciating history). If history is as important as it is (and it IS), I want to be able to leave my mark in it - and hopefully acheive the status of an icon in the process to further cement it. I won't become an icon or famous for being physically fabulous like Katheryn Hepburn or Marlon Brando, but I definitely have the mental capacity to attain iconography intellectually at least. The venues towards iconic status are infinite, just as all other things are.

Lady Gaga's fascination with fame is actually understandable for me now on an actually intellectual level (I knew she was a smart one). We're all icons, or perhaps ought to strive to become as much. But what makes an icon? An icon could be interpretted as nothing more than a collection of existances and experiences given a symbol to represent the collection and its impact as a whole. But only the image for the icon is going to be recognized. All those experiences and people that made an icon what it was simply melt into it. It's both fascinating and discouraging, really. So much identity lost.

Iconography might seem shallow on the surface, but it's just the opposite. When you examine iconography, you come to realize just how important everything in your life is. Even seemingly irrelevant aspects of our life have impact, and yet will they be acknowledged? Contemplating this makes me want to record so much more of my life than I do. It makes me want to record my writings on multiple formats in have two copies printed so as to avoid losing things to un-history (and a good amount of stories that people wish they had would still be around if this was practiced, now wouldn't they?).

The anti-philosophy to iconography would be a form of minimalism, and so I wanted to murder it in its cradle while I'm still writing. People could argue that one's impact alone gives things meaning, even if they're not remembered or recognized... Well, to those would argue such a point of view, consider some things? Does this minimalistic approach have a field of study based around it? NO? Well icons do (history being the most obvious)! The thing about minimalism is that knowledge is something that is compounded within us to form something far from minimal. And iconography is a part of that. To lose something in history is a parallel to not having existed in the first place. While the effects of the existance still took place, what does it matter if we aren't able to become aware of any of it?

Becoming an icon is far from being selfish. It fulfills you like a selfish desire (consider it a bonus), but without icons, history falls apart, and with it, everything that follows.

Make something of yourself. Make an Icon.