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is trust, like bravery

where you're scared as ********, but you face your fears anyways, because you know have to

is trust, where you're worried as ******** about someone, or something, yet, you close your eyes, and put faith in them, because you know deep down, you can trust them, no matter how insecure you feel....no, actually I don't think it does...

but I think that's a good way to build trust.. by putting that blind faith in someone.. and not being proven wrong... I have been given no reason to doubt, and so, from this day forward, she, and she alone gets my complete trust.

******** my heart. what has it ever known? nothing. It constantly, constantly lies to me.. it's as if it wants me to suffer.. no, I am going by my true feelings, by my gut now..

I came VERY close to losing chloe tonight.........i'm actually not out of the thick of it yet.... she's tired tonight, and so tommorow.. she may break up with me... and i'd understand completely.. if she thinks i dont trust her, then how can she date me? relationships are built on trust.........

******** ......... that's right.. that's why i love her, that's why i let her visit me, that's why i stayed with her for those 3 days, that's why i didn't break up with her when she told me the TRUTH..... because i trust her

AND THE FACT THAT I'M LETTING MY STUPID INSECURITIES GET IN THE WAY IS JUST ******** PATHETIC! no wonder why nothing in life seems to want to work for me, I'm just a ******** sniveling brat, pouting that OH NO, SOMETHING IN LIFE DIDN'T GO RIGHT!

I'm ******** pathetic. I need to harden the ******** up. The world isn't roses and sunshine. It hasn't ever been, and it never will be. Chloe tried a drug ONCE, and she's been doing tons of research on it, and s**t like that. She promised she wouldn't do it again, so why the ******** should I doubt her? Has she EVER ******** broken a serious promise to me? No. She even quit ******** DRINKING for me!

UGH I'm so ******** pathetic, if I weren't me, I'd beat my own a** for what a ******** piece of s**t I'm being. I need to grow some god damn balls, CRAWL TO HER ON MY HANDS AND KNEES, and beg for her forgiveness, hoping that she doesn't realize what a piece of s**t I am, and pretends the whole night didn't happen.

I sent her that message offline, "lets pretend like it didn't happen." HOPEFULLY, knowing the kind hearted woman she is, she'll give me a second chance.

Holyyyy ******** am I retarded for being so upset over something so STUPID!

UGGGHHHHHH GOD I ******** HATE HOW PATHETIC I CAN BE -___-;;;

It's hard to imagine that such a hardass, who used to be known as Dart, became such a p***y. Dart wasn't nearly as much of a bleeding heart, but then again, no one crossed him, either.

SO BASICALLY

******** ME CHANGING, I'm ******** reverting, ******** becoming a p***y. I'm manning up, hardening the ******** up, letting my ******** stones drop, and yeah.