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Trying to decide what I'm going to do.

Obviously get a job.. maybe move.. somewhere...? Not sure where... before it was pretty obvious -- get to Missouri, live with Chloe, blah blah blah perfect ending.

Now..... I can go live anywhere. I can do anything.. but I don't know what I want to do. I'm not in school anymore.. so ... I don't know what I want to do. I can get a job anywhere, and do anything like that..but I'm just so confused.

I kept thinking, "If I break up with Chloe, I'll just move near her anyways, and live there as a friend." but yeah, I dunno anymore. Obviously this was going to change when it came to it.. so I dunno. If she's still single, I'll probably move up there for a while, just to hang out, see what it's like.. maybe stay for a while. If she starts dating someone, I'll probably move somewhere else, or something.. like.. if I'm up there, and she starts dating someone, I'll see how it makes me feel before I move.. but if she starts dating someone else before I move up there, then I doubt I'll move up there at all.. simply because, hey, I'm still hurting right now, and I don't know if I'd be able to handle it.

If not.. I dont' know where I'll move. I've never given it any thought.. I just hate the idea of being alone so much, I've always wanted to find a lover and live near them.....but now, since I'm alone.. I don't know.

I'll just ask people, ask them where they've always wanted to live, and why.. and I dunno. I've pretty much put my heart on lockdown, so I'm numb, so I'm thinking realistically now, not out of grief.