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Even though she said our break was temporary, and not permanent, I think that's just her way of breaking up with me, because she's scared of really breaking up with me...

Soooo.. I'm thinking, this "temporary break" isn't as temporary as I thought it was... meaning... it really is the real deal... so, I'm honestly single, and I should start treating life like I'm single.

Everything's changed now, that I realize I'm honestly, really single. I realize Chloe really, honestly broke up with me. I guess she did it for her own good; I don't know. I hope she's happy though..

I'm starting the process of distancing myself from her, because I can't be as attached to her as I was, since I'm really not her boyfriend anymore, and I probably won't ever be again. Hurts a bit to think about it.. but like Yuu said, I gotta live for myself...............

Feels like I'm drowning, honestly. Feels like someone tied weights to my feet, and threw me in a lake.. I'm sinking, going deeper and deeper, without any way to set myself free...

I'm not going to act any different around her though, or, I'm not going to do it on PURPOSE.. I mean, I'm sure I'll stop being as affectionate and everything, and I'll treat her like one of my friends, (sadly meaning she dropped from top priority to the bottom with the rest of them) but yeah, it's just how things go. I think I'm just going to stay single for a year or two, at least, and see how it all plays out. Like, I'm not going to actively avoid relationships or anything.. but I'm just going to set things aside and get to know people before I even consider it.

Kinda sucks I had to figure it out myself, you know.. but hey, I'm usually the last person to find these things out, this time around I'm the first. Kinda annoyed Chloe wasn't honest with me, but I can't blame her. Sooo, sitting here, listening to Scarling, going numb, letting life rot, deciding on my next course of action..