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Ok~ I've known about this for a lil bit actually, but since it's coming up so fast (thurs) I'm going to go ahead and write about it right now..

I know I can trust her, I know I can. As a matter of fact, right now, I don't feel any fear at all. When she first said it tonight, I felt a wave of fear.. but then it faded.. I know I can trust her.

I'll talk to her Saturday sometime before she goes, and blah blah.. but I'm going to need support buddies for that night. well I may, anyways.

Basically, I'm going to tell anyone I'm talking to, to just keep reassuring me, that I can trust her, and she won't do anything. It's basically my anxiety training.. but I'm worried the normal training won't work, so I'm going to rely on my friends.. because this is a major issue to me... and of course, I'm terrified. But I'm hoping if I can fight off this anxiety.. like, right now, I know in my gut, nothing will happen. It's so amazing, even my heart knows, I can trust her, it feels no doubt. But, I'll still rely on support buddies.. Sephy even said that if she's around, she'll keep reassuring me if I start to spaz, and that'll help so much.. X___x;;; I'll even get Frost to agree to it.. so yeah. > <;

I'm not going to bring this up with her tommorow if at all possible, because I don't want to start pissing her off. I'm going to try to not even think about it.. and if I can, I'll even get Neena to help me, so that anxiety doesn't keel meh.. x__x;

so yeah.. I'm feeling pretty good right now, very happy actually.. and hell, I may even go to a friends house saturday, if I can, and hang out with him, chill, see how life is going.. I dunno, I might just do it just 'cause ya know.. I might even call a few other friends on the phone, if I can, and talk to them that night, so I don't have to think about stuff.. so yeah.. :3 I trust her, but as a cancer, I'll have worries and doubts.. and it's only because I care, you know? I'm so glad she understands that.. god I love her.