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I was looking for a pen, and I found a note my mom left me when she was on her death bed... I'm going to type it up, so that if I ever lose this piece of paper, I'll always have her words..



Dear James,

My first baby. You are so special to me. I had so many hopes & dreams when you were born. We don't have enough money for me to make them all come true. There are so many things I want to tell you. Be happy. I just want you to be happy. Forgive people; no one is perfect and you are going to need your dad. Know that I loved you with all my heart. Find god. Baby there are so many wonderful things the world has to offer. Don't give up - I promise life isn't fair. Bad things happen to good people. I don't know when I'm going to die, but I want you to not give up on life. Grow up and be a famous game designer. No matter what I am so proud of you! I am so sorry for any time I hurt your feelings or made you feel bad. You are my rock. You have been my sanity more times than I can count. I hope I have been a good mother to you, I hope that I instilled the important things in you. Family. They are a pain in the a**. They will be the first ones to fight for you. Love your brother & sister. Love your dad. They are all you have when I'm gone. I can't think of all the things I want to say right now. Maybe I will have time to write again. I love you my baby. You make me so proud.

Love always,
Mom

That's the only advice left in the world I have of her... my one reminder of who she really was, the one piece of sanity I have left in the world..