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I read moms note over and over.. and a few things really stuck to me.

What am I doing? Honestly - WHAT, am I doing?

am I happy..? I.. don't think I am. I'm tired of all this drama. I think.. I'm going to start looking out for my happiness.

I'm now my own #1 priority. I don't care about everyone elses happiness anymore. Life sucks too god damn bad for me to sit here and be a whipping boy for everyone else, for me to take others abuse then grin about it.. ******** that..

I listen to people, just for them to turn around and slap me across the face. I'm kind to everyone, just to be pushed into the mud and stomped on. No more. I'm still going to be a good friend -- I'll be the shoulder to cry on, the sympathetic ear, but I'm not going to take bullshit anymore.

This just keeps cementing my plans.. I am happy with Chloe. Right now, Chloe's pretty much the ONLY thing that makes me happy. Gaming doesn't seem as fun, anime is okay, but it's not that great.. I'm just in a funk.. but every time I see Chloe, whether she's at her best or worst, my heart leaps.

I'm going to stop punishing myself for things I haven't even done, too. I'm going to stop torturing myself, and when something bad happens to me, I'm going to stop rolling in the misery, saying, "I deserve this", because, I don't. I really, really don't. I've made mistakes in my past -- I'm only human! Everyone makes mistakes.

I'm done with my pity party, I'm done being a punching bag, I'm done with everything. I'm doing what -I- want now, everyone else can get ********.