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I left her quite a few lengthy offline messages.. hoping that she'll consider it, or that I'll hear something positive.. if not, I'll just be single..

I really hope though, that no matter what happens, she still visits x__x''.. I absolutely love hanging out with her, boyfriend or not, it's just fun. (also, we can be ******** >__>; WE HAVE NEEDS DAMMIT)

I'unno. I'm really going to hope she can try to change a lil bit for me.. just stop pushing me away, stop ignoring me, it's not that hard to do.. but it'd mean a lot.. she's not emotionally attached to me, so I doubt our breakup even phased her.. (god do I hope I'm wrong about that.. .__.) but meh.. If she's willing to try, willing to change, even just a little.. then I'll take her back in a heartbeat...

I desperately want to regardless.. I want to SO bad.. but I know that if nothing changes, we'll just end up in this same situation in another few months, or year, or something...

I'm also worried about irl.. if she starts pushing people away/breaking up when people get clingy irl, then I'm horrified about what would happen when I moved there.. ._____.'' That's why it's such a big deal for me.. I don't want to move out there, just to have her dump me in a week...

The thing that puzzles me, though, is that the 3 days we were together, she didn't say anything about my clingy-ness, which is why I had hope.. I had so much hope... but now, it's dead. It died, it's gone.. I'm just sitting here teetering on the edge, hoping that she pulls me away from it, instead of pushing me off it..

Life would be so damn great right now, if everything was okay with her.. everything would be ******** AMAZING! but that's just not how my life goes..

I fell in love with a girl who doesn't care about relationships, and leaves them at bottom priority.. and here I am, a guy who cares too much about relationships... so I'm miserable.. but I want her, and I love her.. and.. yeahhhh... I'm just hoping it works out.. I've changed so much, just for her.. so I'm hoping she's willing to change some, for me.. I really am..