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Lilly's Diary
personal thoughts here
-IF- Things don't work out...
Where will I go from there?

I suppose I'll just stay single, and her friend for a while.. I dunno. If this is the final straw, she's not willing to make any changes, and we're done for good, then I'll never bring up our relationship again. I'll pretend it didn't happen, I'll try to force myself to forget we ever dated.

I doubt I'll date anyone else though, unless they're pretty ******** amazing.. which I highly doubt I'll find.. I'll most likely be working the graveyard shift at my job, (10pm - 6 am) so I'm not exactly going to meet a lot of people, and I'll be working alone there, since it's a gas station.. I'unno.

Maybe I'll luck out, meet some cute goth gamer girl who likes to wander around late at night, chat with her, maybe make a new friend, maybe see where things go from there... but I'm kind of doubting it. Chloe's a mermaid, through and through, and my chances of finding another one are pretty slim.

She's also very special to me, because she was my first.. everything. I... I really don't want to lose her.. I don't.. I hate that this is how things slowly ended up.. It's ******** horrible.. but. I'll be strong.

After we discuss things, today.. once it's all decided on, that'll be that. I'll stop bringing it up, and I'll force myself to start putting her back at friend status, instead of lover status. (Lover = MUCH more attention, I actually give a ******** when you talk about something, I actually care when you ask me to do something, priority, etc.) Not that being a friend is a bad thing, mind you.. Lover is just more important.

Oh, funny thing too -- Ciel unblocked me, now that I'm single. I bet she thinks she has a shot with me, now... ha!

No. I'm tired of children.. If she asks me about it, I'm going to let her down gently -- but I'm not going to mislead her. I'm going to let her know exactly how it's going down, and be done with it. Other e-girls that may try to hit on me/date me.. well. I'm not going to turn them away right away.. I'll give them a shot atleast.. not dating me, but as a friend.. then, we'll see how things go from there.





 
 
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