I don't know anymore..
I mean, when we're happy, we're ecstatic -- but when we fight.. it's horrible. She wants a kid down the line.. I don't know if I do or don't yet. I'm kind of terrified of having a child.. .___.
Then there's the fact that.. hey, I'm still young, you know..? Finding "the one" this early in life is kind of scary.. scary, annoying.. and everything else.
Some cute girls have been hitting on me at work.. and I honestly think, "I wonder what it'd be like to ******** them.." I mean.. I'm not going to go out and have sex with strange girls.. but sometimes I think about it.. I'm still technically single.. so, I can do whatever with whoever...if I find a cute, dominant girl irl.. and she's really in to me.. then.. who knows what'll happen..
I keep thinking, "What would happen if I cheated on Chloe...?" but I honestly can't think of anything.. I think, "hey, it may be fun.. why not, right..?"
I still don't know what I want to do with my life.. I still don't know who I want to be with.. I love her, but is it a "we'll be together forever!" love..? I don't know..
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Lilly's Diary
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