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ok, I'm not at work so this rant is a bit unwarranted but since i always work graveyard i dont sleep at night anymore.

anyways.

I've decided a while ago, that I wasn't even going to joke about other girls, or anything like that.. anddddd this morning I realized why I was even doing it to begin with..

I was scared of commitment...as much as I used to talk about marriage and all that, I was scared of being with just her.. because if it didn't work out, I'd be lost and blahblah..

well, I'm over that fear.. she's all I need in life, I fully realized this a few days back.. she's truly, all I need in life.. she makes me happy.. and so i'm not going to look at other girls in any interested way, (my emotions towards anything besides chloe are more or less dead anyways, yay for only caring about one person >.o.. well I mean, it'll change.. and I do care about friends.. but only barely.. and blah, it's complicated) but yeah

i do get hit on at work too.... but meh, the girls that do it, I feel like they're doing it just because they can, like, "hey lets hit on the guy who works at the gas station, it'll be funny" kind of.. so i'm like "how boring.." and yeah.. no girl has tried to get in my pants for a long a** time, years.. well, i mean irl. and blah.............

oh yeah, i realized that I flirt with chloe a LOT too.. o____o like hxc.. I didn't even know what flirting was, until I was watching a movie, and this guy kept flirting with this girl.. I was like "oh snap I flirt with chloe hxc..." > >' AND I REALIZED..

I've only ever flirted with one girl, and no one else, so yay me..that's why girls in hs thought I was gay, since I didn't flirt with them.. but I only JUST NOW figured out what flirting is, so wow > >" WELL i mean when a guy does it.

I'm kind of confused when girls flirt with a guy.. some of my friends are like "yeah she was flirting with you" and some are like "no she wasn't" I'm like "wtf = = ugh people are so confusing.." I mean it doesn't matter, but if a girl is like, hxc persistent in flirting with me, and I don't realize it.. idk, I don't want to lead anyone on...

I'm dead set on chloe now, I only want her.. i'll only ever want her, I realized.. any time I have sexual fantasies, and any time I even watch porn.. I usually finish up thinking about me and chloe >//< (tmi I know.. but damn it happens every time..)

and blah.. o o'