Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

so.. she wants to live alone.

figured as much.

Not moving anywhere now, then.. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do, really....


I don't want to live here.. but god damn do I hate living alone.. but if this is really the point I thought about as a kid...

"I bet when I get older, I'll find someone I love a lot, then i'll lose them and for the rest of my life i'll be alone" = =' wonderful..

********.
wonderful.

I guess I don't have anyone to blame but myself...but whatever.

Now, I don't know. I guess I'll go start dating some random little c**t on the net.. because I'm not going to find a true love after this, because chloe was it. SO, I'm just going to be stuck in a loveless relationship with some stupid girl who doesn't realize I don't care about her.. that, or I'll just become a god damn manwhore, and have sex with whoever, and basically not have any attachments to anyone...

Going to have to start convincing myself it'll be ok to live alone, too.. I mean hell, I'm going to be lonely anyways, may as well pile on to that and make it a crippling loneliness, maybe I'll get over it faster that way? I don't know.

this is just ******** bullshit.

I never should've dated anyone to begin with, if this was how it was going to end. I know now though, that I really will be alone in the end.. so there's no point in continuing on with another relationship. Hell.. I don't even really want sex anymore.

All I want.. is to die, kinda.

I want to stop exsisting.. I think that works out pretty well, I just want to die, and go away forever..