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Lilly's Diary
personal thoughts here
Relationship/Break up advice for future guys
ok guys, I'm going to post advice here.. (maybe somewhere else, if I can think of it.. but here is where I'll refer guys so they don't ******** up like I have..)

1. Never talk about other girls... ever.. even if you're dating a bi girl, and you think she'll agree with you -- no. HELL, even if she starts talking about how hot a girl is, don't agree. Tell her she's hotter, because unless she's super self-confident, you're just going to upset her...

2. Don't stick with something if you don't feel right about it.. if you get a sort of pain feeling, like it hurts to be with them.. don't do it! That feeling isn't love.. it's not affection.. it's your heart telling you that you're doing the wrong thing.. don't go through with it.. sure you'll think you're happy at first.. but in the end it'll hurt so much it's ridiculous...

3. Don't desperately latch to one girl, and try to hold on to her forever.. if she wants to go, she's going to go, and trying to keep her with you when she's not happy isn't fair to her. Imagine if you yourself were in a relationship with some clingy, needy girl, and all you wanted was to move on to someone else, because you weren't happy. Imagine how it'd feel if she tried to guilt you into staying, and tried desperately to hold on to you.. it'd be miserable, so don't do it.

4. This is a important one here, if you get into a fight, or if you "break up", don't do anything drastic. Don't go out, get drunk/high, and then start ******** around with other girls.. you'll regret it. It seems like a good idea at first.. but then you'll feel horrible after... (this seems like a no brainer, but it happens so much.. ugh.) Also, don't decide something after only a day. Take your time with love-related decisions.. you need to think about them, because our emotions make us irrational -- so sort your head, and figure out how you feel, figure out what you really want.

5. If you break up, take some time off. If you break up with your special someone, take at least a month off.. It'll be hard if you're like me, but it's something you NEED to do. If you have a girl on the side you've been dying to "get with", don't yet. If she really cares about you, and really wants to be with you, she'll wait the month, she'll understand. If not, then guess what? You just dodged a bullet. (I had one girl waiting for me, for ******** YEARS! years! while I dated others.. I eventually lost her, but that was because of my own stupidity, not her fault. So take your time guys.)

6. Sex isn't a magical cure-all. If you were seriously involved with someone, and you think having sex will make you suddenly feel better, then you're wrong. After being that emotionally involved with someone, sex is the worst thing to do right away. It sucks, but this is for your own good.. trust me on this one.

7. Figure out what went wrong, and why. If she doesn't want to tell you why you two broke up, then look back on the relationship, and try to figure it out on your own. If you can't come up with anything, chances are you're an idiot, and you ******** up a lot, so you need to take a long break and figure out what the hell went wrong. I mean -- okay. It may honestly just be her being a crazy b***h .. it may be her with a guy on the side -- but that's why you need to take time and figure it out. Otherwise, in your next relationship, you'll either a) make the same mistakes, or b) miss the same warning signs that she isn't as interested in you as you think.

8. It's okay to be upset about a breakup, but it's not okay to make her feel like s**t. Don't call her constantly crying, don't harass her friends and tell them how bad you feel, don't e-mail her, don't post on her facebook, don't ******** with her. Chances are, she's hurting just as bad as you, and all you're doing is making her feel even worse, which isn't fair.

9. If she's dating someone else, don't be an a*****e to the guy. It's not his fault she left you. Even if he "stole her" from you, it's not his fault -- she left of her own will, he didn't put a gun to her head and make her leave. If the guy is an a*****e to you, rubbing in the fact that she left you -- then be the bigger man. Leave, don't talk to him. Don't bring it up around her, either. She'll think you're just being petty, and bashing him because he replaced you. Hell, he may even be acting that way because you're the ex, and he's insecure that you're around; if he's truly an a*****e, then she'll eventually see it -- hell, she may even prefer it, and she'll either leave him or love him for it. Either way, it's not your place. If she's a good friend, then hang out with her -- there's no point to hang around them as a couple anyways, unless you're on a double date.

10. Finally, let it go. This is going to be the hardest thing you do.. but if it's truly over, then it's over.. and you'll have to move on. If you're tired of the drama of relationships, tired of all the bullshit, then take a break.. but never say you'll never date again.. you'll just make everyone around you feel like total s**t. Stay optimistic, there's one true love out there for everyone.. no matter how real this love felt, if it's over, then your real love is on the horizon, just waiting for you.. Keep your chin up, and press on.. no matter what.





 
 
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