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So this is how it feels, this is how the scene plays out in my head..

I'm sitting up high, looking out the window, at how happy everyone is.. I can open the window, I can call out and wave, but it's too high up.. no one will hear me..

Neena stands infront of the door, yet I already know I can't leave..

"You wanted this. You chose her."

"I didn't think I was going to lose her.."

"Young and hasty, as always. This is why I limit you in what you can and cannot do."

"So she's gone.. and I'm stuck alone.. this isn't fair.."

"I'm going to make you stick with your decision for a few years, at least. Maybe then you'll have the maturity to choose more wisely...However, I will ease your pain, I will soothe you.. but you will not be able to escape your decision. If she requests you, you will answer. You are both hers as much as she is yours, except I'm revoking your ability to take from her. In my eyes, you are now her toy, her plaything, and you will behave as such, as part of your punishment. If she loves you, treats you as an equal, then so shall you -- but if you are treated as a toy, abused, and suffer -- then you must bear it in silence."

like I said before.. i'm allowed to do my journal.. but i might have to make them all private.. = =' fml..