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((I want the reader to keep in mind that these are early in the morning, I hadn't had a chance to talk to Chloe all night long, and that I got new information when I got home.))

Well, dad was being a child and shut off my phone -- I entirely anticipated this, and sent a text to Chloe letting her know before he did it. He said he's been trying to turn my phone back on, but the site is "down for maintenance."

******** never should've shut it off to begin with. Going to call him AGAIN, at 1:40 to see if the site is up.. maybe me pestering him will teach him not to ******** with my phone when i'm at work. (Update: 1:40 - he's trying again. I'll update if it works. (it didn't))

neena is crushed, as well.. I've basically been thinking about giving up on Chloe completely, and becoming a hermit. I vaguely mentioned this to her, but she's been so tired, she probably didn't even pay any attention.

Before, I had been thinking about telling her, "hey, we were meant for eachother, so lets stop being stupid. Actually, you have no choice.." basically. I forgot, but brought it up when she asked. Her response was, "I'm only 19, and I haven't been looking, lets just see where life takes us."

Broke my heart, means she isn't sure. Don't ever want her to tell me she loves me again, because she doesn't. If she did, she'd have no doubt. I'm tired of wasting my time..so I'm giving up on her, basically. I know she waited on me...but it's only because I was convenient, I guess? I don't know - I just know she doesn't love me anymore.. if she says she does, it's because of drama, or something. If she loved me, she wouldn't have doubts of our future, right? ((Morning Update: I had been thinking during the night, about all the things she's done to prove she loves me, versus the red flags telling me to move on.))

Neena is completely shattered by my decision. She too loved Chloe..I think this hurts her a billion times worse than me.. and that's saying something.

She won't let me be close to her.. it's too soon.

what really sucks about all of this is, I bet chloe won't even fight to keep me..she'll probably just let go, which will only prove that she doesn't love me. ((Morning update: She actually sent me a text while I was at work.. I obviously didn't get it because dad ******** my phone, but yeah, she did fight.. and so I have my hope restored.))

In my heart, I desperately don't want to give up. Neena's heart begs me to give Chleo a chance, to not give up. Move out to missouri, try it, it begs..but if I'm getting red flags this early, then maybe I shouldn't.

Most of our problems are caused by distance..so it may change things..but that's fools hope.

Love takes two, not one giving 100%, and the other just being there, not trying, not caring. ((Morning Update: I was just venting here.))

Relationships have never been important to chloe, and she has her life goal to work on, but I don't fit.. if she fights for me, even a little, I'll go with Neena's idea. If not, I'll move on, pick up the pieces of Neena's heart, and look for a place to be alone, forever.. ((Morning Update: Like I said before -- Chloe DID fight for me, I just wasn't here to get the message.. so I'm not giving up.))