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2:07 AM

I'm writing this for Neena. She too wants to vent, but isn't all that great at writing our words. Here she goes:

My heart is aching..because she may lose something precious. She has been in a dark place lately, and now, more than ever, she needs hope. She's craving a sign of hope, a gesture of warmth, something to restore her faith in fate.. something to keep her believing in love.

I will not deny my feelings, nor will I pretend to not benefit from her gain, however when love is to gain, truly all benefit..I have a stronger will than she, more confidence..but without her heart burning fierce, the light of life will begin to dull. All around her will become gray and emotionless, 'till they fade, and die.

Her heart needs assurance that she's being thought of in her lovers future, that she does have importance, and is not a mere afterthought.. (However if this is true, I'd beg the one to not admit it.. not yet, not when things are so bleak. Another time, when she can handle it, but not yet, no.)

If she truly does become a complete recluse, then her heart will slowly become stone. She mentions it frequently, as if it's a truth, but her hheart is very soft, farthest from stone as can be.

If it does turn to stone, I shall weep, for that stone shall mark my grave. Without her love, her life.. I shall become another whisper in the wind, a dull voice, weeping for what once was.

I have no expectations of our lover to remain as such, yet for now, to please pretend.. just so she won't give up, at least not until she finds a replacement.

My heart will forever yearn for my old love, and for many lifetimes my new, too. If I lose my new love -- our lover, I shant accept another so easily.. she, however, has no choice.

She knows what true love is, but her heart is frail. If she can't have her true lover, eventually she'll settle for a fake love, if only to fill the gap left by our lover.

A sad fate.. but if we can't have our one and only, it's the best way to keep her from becoming stone.. alone with the sea, words more terrifying to me than any other man could fathom.

((Morning Update: I didn't edit Neena's journal, 'cuz.. it's not mine. so meh.))