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She's going to call me tonight. She was going to stay longer, but she felt sick; we don't know what the hell is causing her problems.. but she always gets really sick when she comes down here.. blech, I don't want her to be miserable.. I let her go, I didn't put up a fight.

I said my goodbye, my love yous, and she blew a kiss as she started to drive away. Her mom is going to pick her up at the airport and I think ride along with her back home..

Chloe is a trooper. She's not the kind of person to wimp out and go home over nothing, so she must have felt really bad to leave. I know she's upset by it, but... everything will be okay. This town is a ******** cancer. I hate this place. God damn do I hate it. Now I have more reason than ever to leave; chloe has to leave because of it. She.. she's going to stay with me. For me... It's a huge sacrifice.. I.. cried. A lot.

I love her, god damn do I love her. This visit was shorter than any other has been (2 days, leaving late the second day >.o.. but then, others are usually only 3 days, so meh) but .. I don't know. It helped. I missed her. I've been going through hell in a handbasket with the ******** family drama, and this town was basically pushing me to the breaking point.. it was killing me. I literally felt like dying.

I'm happy now. I love Chloe. She loves me, she just can't live in texas. Hallelujah, because I hate this shithole. I ******** hate it and everyone in it. I don't know if I'll be staying with Chloe at a-kon or not, I'll ask her later this week. I can't wait for her to call.. I miss her so horribly. I didn't want her to leave, but there's no way in hell I would've, or could've stopped her. She felt so ******** miserable..

It's just motivation. "JAMES. GET YOUR ******** a** IN GEAR!! SAVE UP MONEY. GET YOUR LICENSE. YOU -WILL- GET TO CALIFORNIA. YOU MUST. HARUMPH."

My motivation, my hopes, they were dwindling.. that's what this town does to you. It sucks you dry. No, never again. Chloe won't let that happen.. she's rescuing me.. I owe her my life..

I'm so miserable that she's gone.. but god damnit I'm so happy that she exsists. Really, the only business we didn't get to to do that we wanted to, was go on our little dates. She even wore the surprise dress she was going to wear for Neena; I have the pictures, so I can show her them. We did want to go to the riverwalk.. we wanted to spend 2 nights in San Antonio.. Chloe was going to show me life outside of this small town..and then she got sick. ******** black hole of a town, it won't let anyone be happy. I hate it.

It's fine though.. it's fine. Everything will get better.. I know it will. It's been slowly getting better.. this year has just been throwing me curveballs.

Chloe will be here next in June, for A-Kon. It's really not that far away.. when you think about it. Only a month! >w< I know I wont' be able to do lovey romantic stuff with her, because we don't want to upset anyone else.. but just seeing her, just saying hi, hugging her and linzy, (maybe sneaking in a kiss if I can, highly highly doubt it, so I won't try unless she does first >.o) and that'll probably be it, UNLESS we stay in the same motel room.. which I kind of doubt. Hell I don't know what we're going to do. X.x;;

I'm not worried about it.. I .. I just love Chloe. I don't really want to talk about her to anyone right now though.. it's a sensitive subject. My heart, and I'm sure hers, are sore from having to be apart.. it hurts.